take me back in time

dock

The wind was warm and just a tiny bit sticky on my skin in the evening, my feet dangled in the slightly colder water of Flat Iron Lake. My eyes roamed around the wide lake, the islands not far away, Braithwaite Manor far down to the left, even if I couldn't see it, I knew it was there and Blackwater lay far away on the other side of the shore.
Well, here we were.
Clemens Point.
My favorite camp-spot in game.
And I must admit, it was even better in reality.
The nearly rotten dock was my new fav spot in camp. Watching the sunsets was one of my new hobbies, sometimes with Jack in my lap but most of the time alone.
After our successful scam with the coach, things went back to normal rather quickly. Dutch had been very pleased, the paintings were worth some money and I got a good take out of it, so did Arthur and the camp and he'd praised us more than once.
Arthur had headed straight back towards Strawberry to meet up with Micah and a day later, he went to see John to help with the sheep-job and well, we all know how that went on.
So we packed everything up in a hurry, Grimshaw whirling through camp like a tornado, and made our long way down towards Lemoyne.
Sweet backwoods Lemoyne.
I sighed deeply, inhaling the humid air.
This place felt a little bit more like home, I was used to the hot summers in Texas, the tornado season and everything else that contains hot weather, even though it wasn't quite that humid back then. The only thing that really annoyed me, were my clothes.
No tank tops or shorts in sight and I nearly sweated to death under those jeans and shirts I had to wear. I considered cutting one of them into shorts, but I would probably cause some heart attacks here and there if I'd do it, so I dropped that thought quickly.
In times were an uncovered ankle could cause a ruckus, naked legs were probably a no-no.
Hell, even a woman wearing pants was still uncommon.
At least I could jump into the lake whenever I wanted and that was a huge plus and improved the hygiene in camp significantly.
A smile pulled on my lips when I heard small footsteps waddling up behind me, before Jack slumped down in my lap, grinning from ear to ear as he elicited a loud huff out of me.
"Hi there, little one.", I said to him, ruffling through his hair and tugging him close to my chest.
He instantly snuggled up, giggling while doing so.
God, how could someone be that cute? Jack made a habit out of climbing up in my lap wherever I sat, always not far away for a little cuddle session. Once he had warmed up, there was no escape.
"Auntie Sophie. How ya doin'?", he said in his high voice and I smiled.
"Peachy, and you?"
Jack frowned, looking up.
"What's peachy?"
I chuckled. "Another word for good. I'm fine, Jack."
The frown was replaced with a grin.
"Ah, then I'm also peachy."
"That's mighty fine my little friend.", I chuckled back, amused by his childish demeanor.
We sat a little in silence, enjoying the stunning view in front of us, the water splashing around my calves, birds chirping, the low humming of the camp behind us.
"Can ya swim?"
Jack tore me out of my thoughts and I looked down on him.
"Sure thing."
He made a little pout with his plush lips.
"I can't. Can ya show me someday?", he asked, brown eyes coming up to look at me.
"Well, since we're very close to all that damn water, I'd love to, Jack.", I stated, frowning at the thought of this little boy running around freely without knowing how to swim.
"But, we have to ask your mother first.", I added and he grinned.
"Okay.", he paused. "Ya know where Uncle Arthur is?"
"Uh-uh. I think he went into town with Dutch and Hosea, why?"
"Ah, he brought me a new book and I wanted him to have this."
He held up a black thimble. "Found it at in the old camp, but we had to move so quickly I forgot it."
"I'm sure he will love that. Just give it to him when he's back, right?"
Jack smiled, putting the thing away in his shirt-pocket.
"Will do."
Heavy footsteps made us turn our heads and Jack visibly shrank in my lap, hiding his face at the crook of my neck.
"Hey Jack, it's fine.", I cooed, patting his back in comfort.
"What 're ya two doin' here?", a hoarse and raspy voice called behind us.
"Uh, I dunno. Robbing a bank?", I gave back sarcastically.
"Very funny. Jack, yar mother is lookin' for ya."
Jack stood up quickly, hurrying down the dock while mumbling something under his breath I couldn't quite catch.
After he was gone, I looked up. John stood behind me in worn black jeans and a dark-red shirt, a few bottoms open at the collar, his eyes locking with mine.
"Why are you always that harsh with your son, John? No need to be like that."
The bigger outlaw sighed deeply, he paused for a brief moment until he sat down next to me, discarding his boots and rolling up his jeans, following my example to cool down his feet in the lake.
"Ain't that simple. 'M not even sure if he's my son after all.", he murmured, eyes roaming over the lake.
"And?"
"And what?"
"I don't see a problem there, John. He ain't my son either and I still treat him with respect and the love he deserved. He's just a goddamn boy."
I tried to control the anger in my voice, but I failed and John noticed too. He turned his head to look in my direction, mouth drawn in a thin line.
"Ya dunno what I've been through, so jus'-. Uh, forget it.", he rasped out, eyes narrowing slightly as he scratched over the healing scars on his cheek. The seams were still in there, black against his tanned skin.
"I know more than I'd like to, John Marston. Trust me on that one.", I said in a dry tone, avoiding his questioning gaze.
"What ya mean by that?", he shot back, hands rubbing over his thighs.
"Nothing."
His chuckle was very deep and so, so fucking raspy that it made my hairs stand on end. His voice always gets me though.
"Nah, don'chu gimme that now. Spit it out."
I sighed, turning to look at him, studying his features. He wasn't ugly, not at all. To be honest, he was freaking handsome. The short hair doing his job with accentuating his strong jaw and cheekbones, his eyes were trailed on mine and I sucked in an audible breath.
He raised one eyebrow instantly.
"Whut?"
I leaned forward to get a better look at his eyes, frowning all the way.
"What the fuck.", I nearly whispered and John simply stared back.
"What is it woman? The hell 's wrong?"
I huffed. "Always thought your eyes were dark-brown. But they aren't."
John stared at me with wide eyes, disbelief clear as a day on his face.
"What?!"
I chuckled, patting his cheek with my hand.
"Never mind."
He caught my wrist, pulling it to his chest and my upper-body followed without a choice, nearly crashing into his.
"Tha fuck is wrong with ya?", he grumbled, staring down on me.
"Just recognized your eyes are rather a mix of grey and brown than a dark-brown. Nothing wrong, they are pretty.", I said back.
He was caught off guard, apparently not used to someone speaking frankly or receiving a compliment from a woman.
John let go of my wrist quickly, averting his eyes again, a small blush creeping up his cheeks, watching the sun dipping behind the tree line of one of the islands.
"Nobody ever told me that.", he said low after a few moments and I felt myself getting soft again, pitying the fact that he never received such a compliment in his life before.
"Well, there you go. You're welcome."
He snorted, but turned his head to look at me again.
"Well, thanks I guess."
"So, what you want, John?", I asked him and he shrugged.
"Nothin'."
"Yeah sure. You came this close to the water without wanting something from me? I doubt that one.", I gave back amused and he shot me a scolding look.
"'M not afraid of water, Kendall.", he spat, but eyed it carefully at the same time.
"Mhm. Whatever you say, Marston."
I let my feet sway in the lake, splashing tiny droplets of water up to my knees.
John's hands came forward to grab the end of the last plank we sat on, clutching the wood hard enough his knuckles went white.
"Jus' wanted to talk to ya.", he admitted after a short while, then he paused and added: "And wanted to ask for a favor."
"What favor?"
His head turned in my direction.
"Can ya pull these stitches out?", he rasped and I hesitated.
"U-uhm. Sure I can, but isn't that normally Grimshaw's or Abigail's part?"
He huffed a small laugh. "Grimshaw 's cruel and rough in that, it hurts like hell, and Abigail, well- let's jus' say it isn't the best idea to hand her a pair of scissors and let her get close to ma face right now."
"Ah, John. What have you done this time?", I said sadly, already planning on paying Abigail a visit later on.
"Nothin', I swear. That woman jus' drivin' me crazy, that's all. Can't do nothin' right for her.", he muttered, eyes trailed on his feet.
"Maybe you should try harder. Listen what she has to say, what she wants, what she wishes for and then you could for once try to fulfill her needs.", I stated in a dry tone, which made John look up in surprise.
"I am tryin', Kendall. But nothin' is good enough for her. I'm done with all this bullshit, really."
I sighed. "Communication, John. Speak with her, listen, understand. That's the key to a healthy and happy relationship."
Yeah, who was I kidding? Practice what you preach, sister. I should try that myself, ha. Haven't talked to Arthur since we came back to camp after our last kiss, just some hellos here and there, but he was always gone and if he was at camp, he was dead asleep or eating or running around or whatever.
Or maybe I was just afraid to speak with him, maybe.
"I want no relationship. I want no kid, I never asked for any of that.", John said low and I froze.
"And? You think I asked for my daddy to die or my mother? No, sir. Life isn't easy and it never goes according to plan, John. Better get that in your head quickly, otherwise you'll lose everything you have.", I spat back, unable to control my anger any longer.
"You run around and fight all day with the mother of your child, your wife. Said child doesn't even know you, instead he's afraid to even talk to you! That's- uh. That's so fucking sad, really. You have such a talented, smart and cute boy and all you do is avoid him at any costs. It's time for you to grow up, John. That's- ah, fuck it. I'm out."
As I tried to stand up, he stopped me, his big hand landing on my thigh to keep me down. He looked at me, eyes sparkling with anger, surprise and something sadder.
"I-I, uh. Nobody ever spoke with me like that.", he grumbled and I shrugged, folding my arms over my chest.
"Maybe it was overdue someone did it."
He chuckled dryly.
"Maybe."
Then he reached into his pocket and handed me a pair of tiny scissors, turned his head and motioned for me to get going.
"Mighty brave to hand them to me now.", I was still angry and slightly furious.
John shot me an alerted look, eyes narrowing slightly.
"Ya wouldn't be able to kill me with that, trust me."
"But I could hurt you."
"Uh, probably. Get goin'."
"Only if you're willing to spend some time with your son.", I objected, eliciting a deep groan out of the outlaw.
"Fine."
"Good, I'll teach him how to swim if Abigail is fine with that. Maybe you could join us."
He huffed. "We'll see 'bout that."
And then I complied after a short moment of hesitation, rearranging my limbs so I could sit closer to him. His skin was warm and soft under my fingers, as I turned his head a bit further to the side for better access.
His black stubble standing out against his tanned skin and scratching my fingertips lightly.
John closed his eyes as I snapped through the first stitch, his jaw clenched slightly and I gulped at the sight of it.
Damn those handsome men in this gang, really.
Why were there so many of them?
He kept perfectly still the whole process, not even a tiny wince or flinch under my touch.
I held his chin between my fingers, working through every stitch, pulling them out afterwards carefully. Some of them were bleeding a bit, so I asked him for a cloth and some alcohol, which he fetched instantly. Sitting down again beside me, I soaked the white cloth with some whiskey and dabbed off his cheek with it, making him shudder slightly.
"Does it burn?"
"Yeah, a little."
"You deserve it.", I said only half-joking and John laughed at that.
"Don't I know it."
After I finished cleaning his little wounds, I sat back again, studying his face while turning his head slightly to the right with my hand on his left cheek.
"Alright. Don't roll around in the mud and keep clear of any dirt or unsafe water, then it be fine in a few days or so.", I stated, letting go of his face.
A small smile pulled on his lips and damn, it looked good on him, he smiled way too little.
"Thank ya."
"Mhm. Don't mention it."
The sun dipped slowly behind the trees, the sky a stunning mix of orange, red and yellow. It was beautiful and I sighed deeply, my mind trying to memorize this moment forever. I always had a soft spot for sunsets, that's a fact.
"So, uh- I-, damn. I wanted to ask ya somethin'."
I turned my head to look at him.
"I knew it. Well, enlighten me then."
John struggled visibly under my gaze, hands fumbling in his lap.
"Ya- uh. I jus' wanted to know, if y-ya. Ah, shit. Some of the boys wanted to know, if ya already spoken for.", he stuttered out, voice breaking every now and then.
I gawked at him.
What?
"Spoken for? You mean like taken?", I asked dumbfounded and he nodded, averting his eyes on the water again.
"Uh. Well, no, not exactly.", I said wary, not quite sure what that thing between Arthur and me was, or if there was a thing at all. "Who wants to know anyhow?"
John blushed something fierce, trying to hide his face by looking down.
"Ah, jus'-", he stopped and I raised one eyebrow, nudging his thigh with mine.
"John. Keep going. Who wants to know?"
He sighed. "All of'em. But mostly Sean and Lenny, I'd say.", he mumbled, eyes coming up to look at me sheepishly.
I chuckled lightly. "Mhm, sure."
"What?"
"Let me tell you this; if you want to know something from someone, just ask him or her, honestly. Don't pretend to ask for a friend.", I mocked him and he snorted in response.
"I-I, that's not-", he paused, mulling hard over his words. "Shit. Ya right, I wanted to know."
"See, that wasn't that hard, was it?"
"It sure as shit was, Kendall.", he griped, but smirked at the same time.
As his words slowly sunk in, I frowned.
"Why exactly do you want to know?", I asked him and he shrugged.
"Jus' curious. Anybody caught yar eye yet?"
I turned fully to face him, sitting cross-legged on the wooden planks, eyebrows raised in confusion.
"John Marston, are you trying to flirt with me?"
His eyes went wide and he stifled a cough with his hand.
"Nah, I- jus'-. Ah, shit. Yes.", the lopsided grin appearing on his lips made my heart flutter, mischievous and full of promises.
I sucked in an audibly breath, shocked by his statement.
"John, that's-", I was speechless.
"That's what?"
I hesitated, trying to get my thoughts back together.
"You are married.", was all I was able to spit out and he snorted loudly in denial.
"Nah, I ain't. Abigail and I were never married and our relationship 's only platonic fer a long time now."
John watched me, eyes trailing up and down my body.
"That's yer only problem?", he rasped in his husky voice, which had quite the effect on me.
"E-ehm. I dunno. Aren't you younger than me?"
How old was he right now? Twenty-four? Twenty-five?
"Really? Age 's jus' a number, Kendall. Ain't like I've seen more than enough with twenty-six now."
Uh, twenty-six.
"Well, that's only two years, but-"
Three deep voices echoing over the lake stopped my sentence short and we both looked to the right, where Dutch, Hosea and Arthur came rowing into sight, singing and laughing all the while.
Arthur's arms faltered as he recognized us, his brow furrowed at the sight of John sitting so close to my body, then he averted his eyes, anger clearly on his handsome features.
Ah, great.
"Hello there, John, Miss Sophie. What are you two up to?", Hosea's rich voice called and John shrugged beside me.
"Nothin'. Jus' enjoying the view, old man.", he gave back.
Hosea and Dutch both barked a laugh at that, while Arthur remained silent, rowing the boat right next to the dock we sat on.
I couldn't resists the urge to bite my bottom-lip while watching how Arthur's strong arms flexed with every movement under the blue fabric of his shirt, it was a sight to see.
John offered me a hand as he stood and I accepted it, standing myself and tapping down the dock towards camp.
My little tent was positioned at the far left side of camp, from my point of view now, on a small hill overlooking the lake. Arthur's wagon was the closest to the right, but it was far away enough that I could sleep in silence. Not that he made much noise either, most of the time he wasn't even in camp to make some.
I took the fish-bag from Hosea and he thanked me with a huge grin, patting my shoulder as I turned to head towards Pearson's wagon.
John trailed behind me, following until he stopped when I delivered the fish on the bloody table. Pearson nodded in thanks, immediately beginning to chop them up for the next dinner.
"What is it now, John?", I asked him, turning to look at him.
He chuckled uncertain, scratching the back of his neck with one hand, the gesture reminded me heavily of another outlaw, until he spoke up.
"So, u-uh. Ya wanna head into town with me? Like, I buy somethin' to eat and we can talk or whatever ya want.", he blurted out, cheeks red and a small smile on his lips.
I raised one eyebrow. "You asking me on a date, Marston?"
Pearson giggled behind his table, stopping short as John shot a dangerous glance in his direction, muttering a quick apology before he went to grab something behind his wagon.
"Yeah, I guess.", John stated as Pearson was gone, eyes coming back to look down on me.
I hesitated. Sure, he was handsome, he was also kind and sweet if he wanted to be, but he was also John Marston, childish, unreasonable and sometimes even blunt.
Just a few minutes ago I was ready to strangle him because of Jack and Abigail, but now. Well, he gave his best puppy eyes in that moment and I melted, my heart skipping some beats at the sight of his grey-brown ones looking all pleading and soft.
He was dangerous.
"Sure, why not.", I heard myself say before I could think about it and John smiled widely, clapping his hands once in victory.
"But-", I raised one finger. "I need to ask Abigail first. I don't wanna upset her.", I objected and he nodded.
"Yeah, probably a good idea. Better ya get the yellin' than me.", he shot back with a mischievous grin and I nudged his shoulder.
"John Marston!"
He turned at that, laughing as he made his way towards the big fire in the middle of camp and I my eyes followed his backside, appreciating his form.
I could work with that, but if I would, that was another question.
Well, there were two problems right now; Abigail and Arthur.
At first, I made my way over to her and Jack. They sat in their tent, Jack reading a book aloud while she stroked through his hair lovingly.
"Abigail.", I said and she looked up, a smile on her lips.
"Sophie. You need something?"
Jack continued his reading, not minding our conversation.
"Yeah, actually I do. I- uff. Listen, I just had a talk with John and somehow he ended up asking me on a date.", I said quickly, sensing how Abigail tensed in front of me, her hands stopping in their movements and her eyes went wide.
"He did?"
"U-uhm. Yeah. I didn't want to be rude, so I accepted but just temporary. I told him I need to ask you first, so- here I am."
She said nothing for a moment and I let her mull over my words.
"And I made a deal with him, if you're allowing me to teach Jack how to swim, he'll join us, to spend some time with his son.", I added and she shook herself back out of her mind.
"Really? Uh, okay then.", Abigail offered and I hold her gaze.
"I'm not going to do it if you don't want it, Abigail. Neither on a date nor teaching Jack how to swim."
She shrugged and shook her head.
"No, it's fine, really. Go ahead."
"Abigail-"
She cut me off. "It's fine. But maybe you should have a talk with Arthur about this."
I frowned and stood up again.
"Okay."
She sighed deeply.
"Just be careful, alright?"
Confused, I turned again.
"Always am."
"Good. No get going, Jack needs to finish this book before bedtime.", she ushered me out of their tent with a small smile.
It was already dark outside, the campfires and lamps lulling the camp into a cozy atmosphere. The grass was still warm under my bare feet and I strolled towards the stew pot, grabbed one plate of it and sat down at one of the tables.
Karen, Tilly and Lenny sat there as well and we began chatting about everything and nothing.
Karen complained about Sean, Tilly about Grimshaw and Lenny about the townsfolk in Rhodes which were mean and apparently mentally retarded.
Racial exclusion was still very common around these parts and I could totally understand that Lenny and Charles didn't felt quite comfortable here.
The stew tasted like nothing and I nearly gagged after my first bite, making the others chuckle under their breaths.
"I feel ya, girl. This shit 's worse than pig food.", Karen exclaimed, loud enough to elicit a loud huff out of Pearson, who sat not that far away.
"Cook yourself then, missy!", came the rumbling reply and Karen snorted.
"Would be better than this, that's for sure!"
Some of the gang members laughed at the exchange, probably secretly agreeing with Karen.
As I looked up, I saw most of them gathered around, sitting, eating, drinking, Javier already grabbing his guitar to play something fancy, only someone was missing.
"You know where Arthur is?", I asked and three pairs of eyes focused on me instantly.
"No."
"Haven't seen him all day."
"Nope."
I shrugged. "Okay."
Karen grinned in my direction. "Why?"
"Uh, just wanted to ask him something, nothing special.", I replied wary and her smile grew even bigger, turning into a smug one.
"Sure."
Tilly coughed silently, her brown eyes soft as they met mine.
"Maybe he is in his tent, he often is."