Raw and no edits

day 6 -

Single and happy

I for one, have never been a relationship.
-is that implied.

She sat cross legged on a road of choice, while sipping bitter black tea. Her taste buds were used to it, so the expression of a wince at first taste was natural to go as she was accustomed to it. Was it really that she needed some honey in her tea? She was already as whole and fluid as the black coloured brew as she looked to her left. In this clearness of a long stretch of a path, she saw what was in the distance; she even admired and was tempted from what was afar. But what would it take to get that far, like a daisy from the earth, rooted for her life as all she could do it gaze in the direction of the sun, something she would always crave and be a part of as she grew. But she was her own, a girl who no matter what was her individual with her eyes as windows that watch intently at what she never had before; maybe sometimes deciding that curtains allowed the fantasy of these thoughts for the want of loving another, a partner, two.

What wasn't alone.

What was wishful thinking as she daydreamed days away until coming to a stand still. She was herself. She was already content with the sip of her tea that she had always known - perhaps eventually she would spontaneously or calmly decide to put that honey or sugar in her tea for the thrill of it, or even change route to green tea, jasmine tea, earl grey tea. But right now, she stood up and walked away from desire and stereotypical having to find another to love, and walked forward in continuous to self-love, smiling with the sip of her original, black tea.

- inspired by that long night conversation nearly a year ago, in the middle of nowhere, in struggle to stay quiet after curfew as friends whispered about putting that sweetness in your tea, but that it's still ok to have tea just by itself.
- Also inspired by current events and past events.

I mean, that's what happens, right?

so what if you're single and not ready to mingle. There is still a newspaper stand just for you that stands waiting to be stained in what you follow. The only barrier is yourself and the lack of wanting positive change. Happiness is small, and big in that it is you who is well, content, shining. If you measure growth by the length of your hair, why not cut it and measure the steps you took afterwards, deciding whether you liked it or not. Perhaps it wasn't your cup of tea, but could it be the smallest cannonball to roll down the steepest hill to finding out what makes you happy, because perhaps the discovery gets more gradual and gradual, such as the depth of flavour and essence that deepens as the tea brews in the moving water, boiling in energy, but subtly different.

Now what did she see on the other side of her? Who knew as it could've been choice or unpredictable feeling, as if she was blinded by the sun and could only blindly take brave steps forward.

Part ii.

Why does feeling romantic, something that too often ends up in pieces. Cracks and shatters as we display what can be shaped like two candy canes facing each other as this symbol that has nothing to do with human anatomy? Why can someone chase after it like it were a lifeline, but another stand in the same spot, never waiting for it to come past, but still manages to hold desperately in clutches when it decides to leave? But the biggest lesson, is learning about yourself from it. As you were happy together, but also as part of it left you for a moment when two broke apart. Why is the feeling tangible as two lovers say goodbye, or don't even exchange words as silence envelops heartbreak, but also resolution. Perhaps happiness has its balance, so in order to feel happy, one needs to be sad before and after.

What was it about the number five that annoyed him so much?

Was it the first digit being a loss or spark of change?

Was the second digit the fact the look in her eyes as she turned back, missing in the right familiarity and misunderstanding?

A third digit followed, the constant move and flow became not as full as it used to be, but was it a fit in the first place?

Number 4 was the warmth that was lost, even in contact of mingled voices and the floating conversation just didn't seem long enough anymore, brief and stopped by the least genuine of smiles.

Number 5 is the calmest of goodbyes, as the line untangled the two of them abruptly and with disorientation, as even though this was for the better, to be happy, he couldn't help but gaze at the smaller hand that left his as the string was now never fully tied in the first place, and as much as he wanted to yell and shout in question at love, it ended up as a doubtful friendly handshake after so much time. This left him in slight mistrust, sadness and the missing of a hand to hold, as his head is in his hands, but isn't completely blind as the slits between them show that in all that time he grew. And with time he realised that, and even though he is still slightly mistrusts the number five, he was still able to pick himself, steadied by his own hands as a moment only lasts until you realise you CAN move on, with both your five-fingered hands.

- that is so unrealistic. But for the better, exploration is all you can do when you haven't experienced it yourself...
- what an experiment in two really random, contrasting tones.
- lol what a coincidence, day6 the band was an experience and a half.
- that breath (listening to the audio) signals the start...of everything.

Thank you. I enjoyed this.