𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐏𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐎𝐅𝐅. furuya satoru

chapter 2: little feelings

Alternate Title: What do you think, Kazuya? I can say what I feel too.

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Hazui Tadanori, First Year

Dinner time had just come around, and despite the two deciding that they would sit together until at least two weeks into the practice, Kazuya seemed like he just can’t look at Tadanori in the eyes. Maybe he was still processing it, but it shouldn’t take this long. Tadanori did tell him. He told Kazuya all the things he felt standing on that mound, facing a batter who hit each and every one of his pitches in the first try. It didn’t matter that they won, Tadanori felt like shit and no one was there to even console him and tell him that everything was going to be alright. Even Kazuya, though he did try a few weeks after that, but the season had ended then and it left a bitter taste on both their tongues. Tadanori was afraid, he was afraid of walking up to that mound again, he was afraid of doing the one thing he loved most for months that he even considered dropping baseball in high school. And if he was being honest, he felt like Kazuya was looking down on him.

“Did you really think I wasn’t going to do it?” Tadanori asked with his bowl of rice half empty, staring straight at Kazuya who was sitting in front of him. His voice was low, as if he was trying to whisper but the people around him started to lower their voices as well. Everyone must have sensed the tension between the two, and everyone must have wanted to listen to their conversation.

Kazuya froze with his chopstick halfway to his mouth, not answering him nor looking him in the eyes. Kuramochi, who was sitting to Tadanori’s right, stopped as well. His eyes darted back and forth between Kazuya then Tadanori. Tadanori felt like he was back in grade school, where every “boys’ arguments” would always end up with one’s fist on the others face. But Tadanori wasn’t planning to fight.

“I’ve told you before that I wasn’t going to continue pitching, you didn’t have to look so shocked.” He was taking his sweet time finishing up his food as Kazuya was stuck in his position, not able to move as Tadanori’s confrontation had struck him harder than any lightning ever could. As he chewed his food, Tadanori kept his eyes on Kazuya hoping that he would at least look up at him. “Were you really looking down on my feelings like that? I guess that can’t be helped, since that’s just how Kazuya is.”

That caused Kazuya to looked up, his expression similar to the one Tadanori saw on the field, but his eyes especially filled with alarm. “Hazui…” Kuramochi said, mumbling with a tone of warning. Tadanori’s voice was filled with provocation, as if challenging Kazuya and he couldn’t help but feel bad for Kuramochi who felt like he needed to step in between the two.

Tadanori glanced towards Kuramochi, giving a look of assurance, before shifting his focus back towards Kazuya. Tadanori’s back was up straight while Kazuya’s was slouched down, his hand fisted beside his tray and by then everyone on the table they were sitting on—mainly first years and a couple of second years—was staring at the two.

“Or were you thinking that pitching was all I good for? You must think that I can’t do anything else, seeing how you won’t even talk to me.”

Tadanori placed his chopsticks on his tray once he finished eating, pushing his chair back then standing up. All eyes, he could feel, were still glued on him. Usually, being the centre of attention would make Tadanori uneasy, but at the moment he was too upset at Kazuya to even think about what other people would think of him. His look hardened and Kazuya looked away with his eyebrows furrowed, hiding his mouth behind his fist. “Either way, you are belittling me.”

With that, Tadanori left the table.