𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐏𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐎𝐅𝐅. furuya satoru

chapter 5: personal darkness

( please click on the comment section in this line for content warnings that might serve as spoilers)

Alternate Title: Maybe vulnerability isn't a bad thing.
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Hazui Tadanori, First Year

When Kuramochi Youichi approached him that evening, Tadanori was already standing up, ready to immediately leave the dining hall even without finishing his daily third bowl of rice. His conversation with Kawakami Norifumi—which consisted of Kawakami asking him all sorts of pitching questions as if Tadanori was 10 years his senior, and making Tadanori promise that he was going to help him perfect his form. Despite Kawakami being a sidearm pitcher, and Tadanori being everything but a sidearm pitcher (and a southpaw), he couldn’t say no to the ray of hope that Kawakami was looking at him with so he said yes, he’ll help him if they got the time—ended abruptly as Tadanori try to make up some kind of excuse to leave.

Kuramochi, however, saw through him and with one look Tadanori was already back on his seat.

Kawakami fumbled, as flustered as Tadanori was, only more clueless. The only reason that Tadanori wanted to avoid Kuramochi was that he was the cause of the shortstop being caught cheating in a certain Japanese literature quiz. Tadanori didn’t mean to, he swore, it was just that the way Kuramochi laid out his cheat sheets was so obvious that he was amazed (and slightly concerned) that the teacher hadn’t notice so he ended up looking at Kuramochi’s table, then to the teacher, then to Kuramochi’s table again. It was amusing to him, but the teacher soon noticed of his weird antics and discovered the cheat sheet before Kuramochi got the chance to hide it.

Tadanori wasn’t sure if Kuramochi was aware that he was the reason of that “tragedy”, but he had shared his concern to four people and four people only: Kazuya, Shirasu Kenjirou, Kominato Ryousuke, and coach Kataoka. Tadanori was an honest person, it is hard for him to lie, so it was inevitable that he told coach Kataoka of what happened when he was questioned for his lack of focus in practice. He told Shirasu because Kazuya only laughed and shrugged him off, telling him that people cheat knowing the possibility of getting caught and that wasn’t what Tadanori was looking for. Thankfully, though, Shirasu was understanding. He listened to Tadanori and offered some advice, like telling Tadanori to fess up so that he could let it go more easily.

Tadanori took Shirasu’s advice to heart, he had been planning his apologies in advance. Sitting on his desk in his dorm room, scribbling words and long, drawled out sentences to make it seem like the apology was genuine.

It had gotten to the point where Tadanori would constantly forget to take his nightly medicine that Ryousuke-senpai had to remind him numerous times. That was the start of Ryousuke’s curiosity, and when Tadanori told him about his little problem, Ryousuke only nodded, saying that Kuramochi probably already knows and that he was planning to get his revenge on him.

Tadanori doesn’t mind the harmless spider pranks or insults thrown at him, but that was definitely the cruelest thing Ryousuke had done to him so far.

And so, despite being in the same class as him, Tadanori had spent the last three days absolutely avoiding Kuramochi.

It was going so well, but he was now forced to face him as they both sat across each other, Kawakami reading the atmosphere and leaving immediately.

“Hazui,” Kuramochi started. Tadanori’s heart started beating so quickly that he could hear it ringing in his ears. He started getting dizzy but shook his head, telling himself to stay strong and own up to his mistake (which no one except for himself really considered a mistake. Coach Kataoka even told him that Kuramochi had it coming and that it was nothing to get so worked up on). “Actually, can I call you Tadanori? Hazui’s pretty bitter on the tongue.”