To Win The Game

35: What The Fuck?

Eren and Levi sat at a table in the mess hall sipping tea and talking, completely unaware of me sitting on the floor in the furthest darkest corner from them.

hiding his anguish well with his resting bitch glare Levi took another sip of tea, before grunting in pain as he moved his leg.

normally I would have made some asshole remark while checking on him, maybe tease him about wanting attention for a bit.

Instead, I stayed still with my eyes lifelessly gazing at the floor between my boots.

we were waiting on Erwin and he was sure taking his sweet time getting here.

just then the door opened and Erwin came in with several others.

his gaze traveled over Levi and Eren as he announced he figured out Annie's identity, only to pause whatever discussion he was about to start.

everyone looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to continue when he sighed before asking "has anyone seen Ayano? she was supposed to have already been here."

Levi clicked his tongue in irritation but was silent as everyone glanced among themselves, looking for me and asking each other when the last time they had seen me was.

my hands clenched instinctively and as I stood up I took a deep breath.

Levi and Mikasa must have heard seeing as both of their heads snapped in my direction as I forced my normal easygoing smile as I stepped into the light, revealing the still blood-soaked uniform that I have yet to take off.

"You really need to get your eyes checked Commander Eyebrows, I've been here the whole time," I said in a lighthearted teasing tone while tilting my head slightly.

Levi's eyes narrowed, flashing silver but he stayed silent as I walked closer to the table.

normally I would have come to the side of the closest person to me, this time though I kept my distance from everyone as I said "capturing her tomorrow won't go according to your plan Erwin."

he frowned at me before indicating the seat beside him that was at the opposite side of Levi, no doubt wanting me to elaborate.

I shook my head, making the room spin as I said "they will end up beating the shit out of each other in the streets, causing absolute mayhem."

"Ayano, are you okay?" Armin asked in a hesitant tone.

I giggled almost drunkenly as I slowly lifting my hand to cover my right eye while saying in a somewhat slurred voice "everything seems a bit fuzzy."

"what?" Erwin asked confused.

I took another step forward, stumbling a bit before catching myself on the edge of the table.

Armin and Eren both jumped to their feet and rushed to my side as Armin asked "have you gone to see the medic's yet Ayano?"

"shit, you're looking pale," Eren added as he brushed my bloody silver bangs from my eyes.

"her pupils are dilated, I think she has a concussion!" Armin's voice called out as my mind began to swim once again.

 slowly my eyes rolled into the back of my head and I succumbed to darkness once again.

~time skip~

the infirmary smelled heavily of antiseptic as I sat up in the somewhat uncomfortable bed, startling a nurse who was leaning over me looking at my neck.

"you woke up?" she whispered out in surprise as she brought her hand away from me slowly.

"how long have I been out?" I demanded first.

"ah, just the night and most of the day," she answered quickly.

pushing out of the bed I looked around wildly, finding my boots and 3DM gear quickly.

ignoring the fact that the nurse was trying to stop me I got dressed only hearing a few of the words coming from her mouth.

Concussion, stitches, fractured collar bone.

my 3DM gear was a bit harder for me to put on than usual, my fingers seeming clumsy as I fiddled with strapping it on.

frowning I managed to get it on properly before zipping off towards wall Sina.

steam rose in the distance, spurring me on faster until I was standing on top of the wall looking down at the decomposing body of Eren's and Annie's titans.

I took a step forward planning on swinging down to Annie's crystal and stomping on her pretty little face a bit to make myself feel better, only my feet felt oddly disconnected from my body and I ended up falling from the wall.

I could feel the wind rush by my face whipping my hair around almost painfully. 

the sensation was familiar, almost comforting as I closed my eyes.

the sound of lines zipping close by made my eyes open once again before something warm slammed into me.

I blinked in confusion as Levi's grey gaze came into focus.

he clicked his tongue in irritation at me and I noticed that the wind had stopped momentarily.

in fact, it felt like everything had stopped.

the aching in my chest, the spinning of my mind, everything stilled and felt like it had clicked into place at that moment.

and just as fast as it had stopped, everything was moving again.

gently I was placed onto my feet on the ground.

raising my hand to my head that had begun to ache once again I looked around dizzily for the three kids who were now my only reason for living.

"where are they?" I asked in a small voice.

Levi's gaze fell to my clenched hands and flashed silver when he realized they were shaking.

"on their way home," he said in his normal monotonous tone.

my legs began to shake from the excursion of standing as I looked down at the ground slowly.

"so season one is already over, and I couldn't do a damn thing that I had planned to do." 

Levi looked away from me, his gaze seeming to go to the wall instead.

like every other time I had gotten emotional, it seemed as if he wanted to run, but he never did.

gritting my teeth I wiped my eyes, getting rid of the tears I had yet to shed before turning around and stumbling my way clumsily towards the gates of Wall Sina.

"where the fuck do you think you're going?" Levi asked, making me pause.

I turned to look at him over my shoulder, noticing his face darken at whatever expression I was making as I said in a dead tone "the outpost at the southern wall of Sina."

the sound of him grinding his teeth was my only warning of his movement before I found myself flung over his shoulder.

"what the fuck?" I asked in a daze.

"you aren't well enough yet," Levi's cold voice said before he turned on his heel and carried me to the nearest infirmary.