What your heart says (Ethan x f!MC)

Singing his heart out

After finishing up another tiring shift,Ethan headed straight to Donahue's. When he entered,the place was swarming with the hospital staff,everyone trying to blow some steam off on friday night. He walked past them,sitting on the special table which was kind of marked for him. Reggie made sure no one else gets a sit there until Ethan turns up,as always. He asks Reggie to give him his old faithful scotch. Reggie nods,pouring him a glass of it. Ethan takes it immediately.
~
His eyes start to scan the crowd,trying to find.....her. It's been a week since he kissed her infront of his apartment, since he promised her that they'll talk about it. But turns out, he's not ready. Not ready yet to face his own feelings for her,the depth of his emotions regarding her. He thinks about it most of the time now,"Is it how it feels to be in love?" Maybe,he's not sure. He doesn't believe in love,it's stupid,isn't it? Still,he feels like that fool in love,drowned in it,and he's afraid of it. Afraid that he truly loves her. Why? If he had to fall in love,why her? He's 37 and he never ever had this feelings before,yes,not even with Harper,or anyone. It all started last year,when she waltzed into his life. Crazy,right? It had to happen with her,which is completly against his ethics and morals. His trail of thought breaks suddenly when Reggie announces the last call. It doesn't matters for him though,he always stays past it.
~
When,the remains of the people exit Donahue's,Ethan breaths out slowly,trying to clear the haze in his mind,a haze created by....her. He knows, that she wants to talk about it...their kiss shared a week ago. Since that day,she has been asking him the same question for the past 7 days when they're alone in his office,"Ethan, don't you need to talk with me about something?" His answer stayed the same,"No." He's aware why she asks him,but for now,he has nothing to tell her,or that's what he tries to convince himself. He hates the hurtful expression on her face upon being rejected,again and again. He hates himself for hurting her,each and everyday.
~
With a sigh,he turns,his eyes falling on the old piano sitting on the corner. He eyes it thoughtfully,a small smile playing on his lips. "I'm taking this one,Reggie...", he says while intensely looking at the piano. Reggie just smiles knowingly,nodding in affirmation. Ethan smiles back,as he refills his glass with fine scotch and dissapears outside. Reggie,takes his phone and texts Casey : "Get your ass here,ASAP,you've gotta see this. It's Ethan."
~
Casey's phone lights up with a incoming message past midnight. She inwardly curses herself for not activating the flight mode. The past week has been a whirlwind for her,not just for the interns,the cases and the free clinic,but for.....him. She didn't even went to Donahue's for last three days. Her friends were worried,but she really didn't feel like joining them. Ethan promised that they'll talk about it later. But when? It's been already a week,she knew that Ethan was never an expert when it came to talking about his feelings. That's why,she subtly asked him everyday if he wanted to talk with her. She knew that if Ethan felt pressured,things will mess up even more. But the only answer she got was...."No." She felt broken,hurt and pain taking over her after getting rejected on a daily basis. She actually gave up,thinking that Ethan will push her away,once again. She was stuck in a endless cycle of rejection,heartbreak and pain,which all started back at Miami. Whining,she grabbed her phone,it almost slipped from her hand as she noticed 'Reggie' flashing on the lockscreen. She opened it and her eyes widened. 'What is it? And what about Ethan?',she wondered. She almost thought of ignoring it,until it occured to her,'What if Ethan drank too much? Or maybe he's feeling sick?' The thought ghosted her,she hopped off from the bed,grabbed her phone and left for Donahue's in her regular clothes.
~
She hurries through the night streets of Boston, finally reaching her favourite bar. She pushes the closed door softly,and she's greeted with a beautiful melody,floating through the empty bar. She stands there,dumbstruck. When she's about to call out,she notices Reggie standing by the corner. He gestures her to stay silent,and to come even closer. Casey slowly comes closer,still having no clue what's happening. Suddenly, a gravely and deep voice cuts in,singing in the perfect harmony with the melody. She tries to peek,but at first,she hears.......
🎶"For I can't help falling in love with you..."🎶🎵🎼
Then she notices..... him. Overwhelmed by the scene infront of her,she just helplessly stares at him. This is all she can do at this very moment,one of the most beautiful moments of her dark life. There he is.....her first and forever love,in the darkest corner,illuminated by dim lights,giving him a charming look. She suddenly feels romantic, the atmosphere around her magical. He couldn't be more perfect, his long-rough fingers playing the piyano keys like they were made for it. She shivers slightly, remembering how good it felt when those same fingers pleasured her,making her writhe and moan. Though, it was months ago,and their relationship wasn't this complicated then. Her throat tightens as she recalls how he left for Amazon not even letting her know, for two long months he just vanished. She tried to reach out,but all of her texts and calls,remained unanswered. She snaps herself out of her thoughts, her eyes fixing on the glass of scotch casually sitting on the piano while he plays. He's clearly in his own world,letting out all his pain with his beautiful and incredible voice. A chill runs down her spine from it. The perfect harmony of his velvety voice and piano wraps her up in a warm feeling,all of a sudden,she feels weak in her knees,her legs almost giving up. Somehow, she manages to control her footing,she's speechless,her imagination running wild as she looks at him. She can already feel the wetness pooling between her legs,he looks amazingly sexy like this,and she can't help it.
Suddenly the music stops,Ethan freezes and in one powerful move,he turns and meets her eyes.
Her whole body stiffens,as she looks at him. Ethan's gaze is intense and powerful,making her feel helpless and weak. She turns around too,looking for Reggie,but unfortunately,he's nowhere to be found. She gulps audibly,slowly turning around to face him. She gasps as she notices him towering over her.
In a gruff voice,he speaks up,"What're you doing here now? I don't remember seeing you here today!" She lowers her head,unable to look in his stormy blue eyes. Their close proximity makes her shudder. "Rookie...." his voice is dangerous and low. She gulps again,opening her mouth to say something,"I ...um..",but he abruptly cuts her off,"Is it Reggie?". She takes a shaky breath in,looking up,she meets his eyes and nods in response. "Yeah... Reggie." Ethan frowns,he takes a few steps back and growls,"Where is he? I have to talk with him! How dare..." ,but Casey grabs his forearm,whispering,"Please,Ethan, it's not his fault,calm down please." Ethan sighs,his adam's apple bobbing. From this close,he can smell the sweet fruity smell of her shampoo,and the refreshing lemony scent of her bodywash. He calms himself down,"Fine,I won't." She smiles sweetly at him,her voice soft,"Your voice is so beautiful,Ethan! And your piano skills,wow! I had no idea you played piano! I'm impressed! At first a secret chef,now a piano player!? Are there more secret skills?". He smirks,dipping his head low,he whispers in her ear,"I've got many more impressive skills,Casey. You've just unfolded two of them,a lot is still left folded up in me." He leans away a bit,and his eyes catches hers as she chews her lower lip. She leans in,mere inches left between their lips. She whispers,"I want to do it." His breath hitches and she smirks,"I'm willing to unfold your impressive skills."
~
He,too,leans in slowly,causing her eyes to flutter close,anticipating the inevitable. With a powerful move,he smashes his lips with her. Their lips move perfectly against each-other. Ethan pulls her to him,his hands snaking around her waist while she curls her hands around his neck,pulling him so close that there is no space left between them. The air crackles with electricity. Feeling desperate,he bites her lower lip,trying to enter her addictive mouth with his tounge. She moans,granting him the access. The kiss is heady and all-consuming. She pulls away for a bit,panting heavily,trying to catch her breath. She leans in again to kiss him. Suddenly, Ethan stops her,he steps back creating space between them. Casey looks at him,confused and afraid. Her voice is just above a whisper,and it sounds like a prayer,"Ethan..... ". " No!" Ethan shots back,his voice is hoarse from lust and desire,yet it's firm and demanding. Her broken voice says, "What is it,Ethan? Please, come ba -"," Casey! We can't do this,stop! What we did is a mistake,and we can't afford to do it again,do you understand?",he cuts her off,saying it all in a single breath. Her heart shatters in a million pieces as she hears him. Tears burn in her eyes,but she holds them back. No,not again,this can't be happening! Every single nerves in her body screams at her as she tries her best to not break down infront of him. "Look,Casey,this is for you,we need to keep our relationship professional,so that......you stay out of trouble. You're brilliant,Rookie, I can't jeopardize your career for.....". " For what,Ethan!?" Casey stops him halfway,hurt and pain fueling her anger. "Casey....", Ethan starts. " No, Ethan, I've seen enough! We kissed a week ago,remember!? You PROMISED me that we'll talk about it. Have you? You didn't! And now,you're giving me that lecture again! Honestly, I don't care about your ethics and morals,Ethan! How long? How long will you use me and then throw me away? Stop! Please stop doing this. I'm....I'm just done! Stop playing with me and my feelings! Unlike you,I have a heart Ethan, and it shatters every single time you reject me! If I'm not worth you,then just stop! I.....if you want the best for me,then stop breaking my heart, Ethan! Don't you get it? I want to be happy,just this once. I don't want my life to submerge in pain and hurt. Please, just once,Ethan." She covers her face with her hands,trying to stop the overwhelming emotions. She blindly stumbles away,reaching for the door,she needs to be alone,and away from him.
"Casey...." his soft whisper is the last thing which reached her ears before she ran away.