How long will it take?

Chapter 29

It's the last oneeee...

2 months after Lola left me and through her funeral, her remembrance service and through the various speeches people made about her I never felt any better.

It was only when I started to rehearse with the boys for Where We Are that I lost myself to the music and forgot about my problems for a very short time, however it seemed that if I stopped thinking about her for longer than a minute I felt guilty and I didn't want to feel that. I just wanted to remember her when we were eating ether and when we were happy, I didn't want to dwell on what I did that was wrong, I just wanted everything to be ok and the only way I could do that was to sing my heart out.

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The crowd was pouring in and the screams that joined the crowd shattered my eardrums but even the noise couldn't drown out the sickness I felt in my stomach. I was going to do it, and this time I wasn't going to run away after.

The boys joined me on stage and we stood in a huddle, Liam speaking to the crowd first.

"Hello everyone, thank you so much for coming to see this one off performance that the boys and I are holding on behalf of Cancer Research."

Zayn gave me a reassuring nod before I spoke.

"Cancer Research is a charity very close to my heart." I stopped as tears pricked my eyes but Louis patted my back, urging me to carry on.

"Uh, unfortunately, a few months ago I lost my girlfriend to cancer. It was a quick death and the impact it had on all of us was huge. We loved Lola from the bottom of our hearts and she taught me how to be happy again." I was choked up, I couldn't carry on, a whole blanket of silence covered our audience and they had all bowed their heads in respect.

Niall carried it on.

"Lola did indeed bring us all happiness and we returned her favour by singing a song to her when she was pretty unwell, it was in that moment where we felt the connection between us all and from then on I think we all knew the affect she would have on us."

"So, this one is for you Lola. Harry's Angel."

I looked up to Louis who was sat next to me and as the music started he stood up to stand next to me and rested his hand on my back as I looked up to make sure she was looking down on me.

The tears fell from us all as Liam began to sing.

'Shut the door

Turn the light off

I wanna be with you

I wanna feel your love

I wanna lay beside you

I cannot hide this

Even though I try'

I waited for my part, breathing heavily to rid of the tears and hiccups but as I started I smiled at the memory of Lola asking me to sing this to her and that's all I needs to get me through it.

It'd taken 2 months to pull myself through the grief and even though my angel was gone, she was the one to help me, yet again.

'If we could only have this life
For one more day
If we could only turn back time

You know I'll be

Your life

Your voice

Your reason to be

My love

My heart

Is breathing for this

Moment

In time

I'll find the words to say

Before you leave me today.'