11:11 A Minute to remember

Chapter 5: Mystery of the past

{Chapter 5}

"Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're here not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, can you see what I see"

- One Republic
[Stop and stare]

Flashback: Year 2017

"You're nothing but a disgrace to our family! Why is your grades like this? May 94 ka sa isang subject mo! I told you to keep being--"

"I'm the number one in our batch so how can you say that I didn't do my best? Kulang na nga ako sa--"

PAK!

Isang malakas na sampal ang natamo ko. Ang hapdi shet. Napahawak ako sa kaliwang pisngi ko na namanhid na ata sa sobrang sakit. I couldn't let my tears fall, I shouldn't let them see me crying but how can I keep on fighting the urge to cry when I can't feel anything but pain? Papatak na sana ang luha ko pero agad ko itong pinunasan at pinalakas ang loob ko.

"Paano mo ko nagawang sagutin ng ganyan?! Wala kang kwenta! Your brother is much better than you! Gayahin mo ang kapatid mo na may pakinabang, may halaga. You know what? I regret being your Father!"

"Why? Did you treat me as your child?! And why are you comparing me to him? I'm not Apollo! I wish my life is just a lie!" sigaw ko at tumakbo paakyat ng hagdan. I'm fucking tired of this. Pagkatalikod ko pa lang sakanya ay agad na nagsilabasan ang mga luha ko. Paano ko nga ba natiis na mabuhay ng ganito?

"Lunaiah! Come back here!!"

I ignored him and continued to go back to my room. Pagpasok ko pa lang sa kwarto ay napabagsak agad ako sa sahig at napaiyak ng malakas. I covered my mouth to weep silently. I've released all the pain I feel through crying. I can't go on like this forever. That's it. I'm done.

Nanginginig akong tumayo at lumapit sa drawer ko. Kinuha ko yung swiss knife ko at tinapat sa pulso ko. I'm sorry Lord, I can't live like this anymore. Umiiyak pa rin ako at tumutulo ito sa tapat ng pulso ko. I remembered all the memories, the laughters, the tears I went through. Then I realized something, pagod na ako.

Idiniin ko ito sa tapat ng pulso ko at naramdaman ko ang unti unti nitong pagbaon. Tuluyan ko na sanang hihiwain ang sarili ko nang nagbeep yung cp ko na nasa kama. Lumiwanag yung screen kaya't nilapitan ko ito at nakita kung sino yung nagmessage. It's Eleven.

From Eleven:

Luna, I'm currently looking at the Moon and I suddenly thought about you. Pati ba naman sa gabi naaalala pa rin kita hayst binabangungot mo na ata ako. Let's go to the park tomorrow morning, 11am.

I'll wait for you DM :]

Agad kong nabitawan yung swiss knife na hawak ko at napahagulgol. How can I forget the only person who noticed me? Who believes in me? May tao pang nagmamahal sa akin, I shouldn't end my miserable life. There are so many people fighting for their lives and I'm here, trying to kill myself and being selfish.

Pinilit kong magtype ng maayos at pilit akong napangiti habang nakatingin sa message niya. He said he'll be waiting for me so I need to go there, I need to keep on living.