Tessa's Reflection

Chapter 15

Hardin's POV -

I have spent most of the morning convincing myself that what I did was the right thing to do. I didn't leave her without an explanation, I didn't storm out in anger, I left for one reason only. To keep her safe. I didn't really think this through properly I mean the only reason I live in New York is because I didn't want to be apart from my girl and now, well now I have to be away in order to protect her. I have walked for ages with no destination in mind, where the hell do I go now.

I walk past a coffee shop deciding to sit and think about what to do now, I order my usual black coffee and grab a seat by the window. I don't want to be to far away but far enough that she won't know I am close to her. I sound like a fucking creep but my feelings for Tessa haven't altered. I am still in love with the beautiful woman I left sleeping peacefully. Maybe I won't be so torn by this choice if she is still close by where I can see her. I just want her to be happy, I can't see how that would be possible with me anymore especially after the shit Steph pulled.

Before I know it I've drank 3 coffee's, I look up some studio's close by in the local paper, I found one in Hempstead. It's not to far, close enough for me to see my girl bloom without my shit landing on her every minute we spend together. I need a phone, fuck! That bitch took all my stuff and I never got it back, not that I will be making any attempt to retrieve it from her. I leave the shop and walk a little further down the street to a phone store. After I purchase a new handset I make a point of calling the number in the advert and the lady agrees to meet with me in an hour. I'm pissed off that I don't have Tessa's number but I did make a point of snatching Landon's from her phone before I left. I mean, it wasn't smart as if I call him he will be sure to tell Tessa. We have grown close but his loyalty always has and always will be with Tess.

Landon's POV -

Tess called early this morning asking if she could come by. When I asked if Hardin was joining her she shut me down. She is acting wierd, he better not of upset her. I warned him already. Hopefully Hardin will be back to himself soon because this dive back in time to old Hardin is not going to be fun for anyone. Maybe he is having some sort of PTSD reaction because of what Steph did, would he flip out of I tried to ask him? Yes, he would probably try to hit me or something. I'll park that thought for now. As I finish emptying the dishwasher I hear the door, that'll be Tess.

'Hey, I brought coffee and cupcakes. I knew Nora was working so only a cupcake for her' she states whilst walking past me into the kitchen. She seems cheery, maybe I was overthink things before.

'You didn't have to, we have coffee you know' I laugh pointing over to the coffee machine on the worktop but she just shrugs and goes about setting up a tea party type setting. I can't help but sit amused at her faffing around with two plates and showing me the array of cupcakes. They look awesome, bright coloured frosting and tiny decorations sitting on top.

'So, what do you have planned for today? I was thinking of going into Manhatten to explore, I haven't really been there much since living here. Want to come?' her words are rushed and she takes a deep breath when she finishes, her eyes don't meet mine though. Something is up.

'Nothing planned but sure. I'll come along. How is Hardin this morning?' I ask, trying to pry subtley. Her eyes drop to her plate and she fidgets uncomfortably.

'Tess, what's going on?' she can't hide her discomfort at my question and picks up her cake but I quickly move her arm back to her plate, preventing her from filling her mouth. As her eyes meet mine I see they have a shine covering them from tears yet to fall.

'I only want to have this chat once Landon, then it's done OK? She says sternly. I nod in agreement but i'm not sure I mean it. She passes me a piece of paper and I read over the handwritten words carefully. My head is trying to fathom why he thinks this was a good idea but my gut understands his worry and his actions. I hate to admit it but I'm not angry as such, I just feel sadness for them both. They belong together but it's like the world wants then to be apart, they never get a frigging break.

'Tess, how do you feel about this?' I need her to tell me because right now she is putting on a tough exterior. That can't be how she really feels, I have seen her in the past but never has this been her reaction to him leaving or fucking up.

'I'm OK. I am going to be just fine this time. I don't have it in me to crumble or fall apart. This time he chose this and I have to accept that. Now eat your cupcake before I do' she tries to smile but it's forced. She is being really weird, I would much rather console her tears than see her pretend that she is OK. This can't be healthy.

I hope he contacts me soon so I can understand all of this. I mean I get the wanting her to be safe but happy, she is never happy without him and he knows that. I won't shout if he calls but I will ask for more information behind his logic. I want to be pissed off but I know Hardin, I know he always tries to have her best interests at heart and for that reason I can't shoot him down this time.

Hardin's POV -

I make it just in time to see Carol, the lady with the studio apartment. As she meets me out front of the tall apartment block I notice her look me up and down, what is with people and there fucking judgement. Yes, I wear all black. Yes, my face is covered in bruises and Yes I don't scream out professional tenant but she doesn't know shit about me. I try to be as pleasant as I can when she shows me the 2 room hovel, it stinks, damp is showing on all four walls but for now it will do. I have the cash for the deposit and 2 months rent like she asked, after signing her make shift document she hands me the keys and leaves.

Fuck this place is awful. I wouldn't house an animal in here let alone a human but I needed something close by and Tessa is only 35 mins away. I decide that for once I should clean up, this is not my idea of fun but it could take my mind of the home I would rather be at. I go to the store a few streets up and pick up everything I spot with bleach as an ingredient. Lots of air fresheners to. Luckily it has basic furniture like a bed, a small 2 seat couch and some other shitty looking items so I can lock myself away for today and get high from bleach fumes.