Detective Dick 2: The journey begins

Segment 1 -: Chapter 1 & 2

        Chapter 1 -: Cover your crotch
     
A few months ago, portals had ripped across three different parts of a city, from the portals emerged hideous creatures.  A private eye, a female cyborg, a mage, some lycanthropes, a few vampires, and a midget who calls himself the protector of the universe managed to repel the creatures from hurting any civilian.  They managed to also stop the portals from appearing but they couldn't defeat all the creatures simultaneously.  Fortunately, for the last four months, they had been tracking down those creatures and eliminating them.  It only remained one spot where the creatures were thriving, the private investigator and the android were presently investigating the area.

"How are things going with you and Tommy Boy?" Dick asks, there was a creepy grin.  He was looking at a tall blonde woman, they appeared to be walking in a sewer, it was the obvious cause of the terrible smell and the filth they were walking on.
Lefinna gives a mild smile, red flashes all over her cheeks.
"It's going great, yesterday, we went on a vacation to Miami, the scenery was simply beautiful."

"Really, I don't think Tommy would be too excited with you, I mean, you don't possess a honeypot," Dick grins.
Lefinna gives him a cruel look, she connects her fist to Dick's crotch.

"Ouch, that hurts, but at least I got it," Dick smiles.

Lefinna was about to throw another punch at Dick when a deafening sound was heard, it appeared to be coming towards their direction. "Sounds like we got company," Dick says pulling out a golden shotgun from his jacket.

"You are a real dick," Lefinna says, pulling out a sword from her back, it was glowing bluish-white.
A cluster of spiders about six feet tall scrambled out of a corner, they were about twenty in number.

"Come on, don't be pissed at me," Dick says as he leaps towards a spider, he lifts the creature off the ground with his left arm, with his other arm, he fires into the humongous insect.

"Most of your jokes are inappropriate, they don't make people laugh, only piss them off," Lefinna growls as she cuts a spider into two, she dashes from the spot, sliding down in the disgusting puddle of sewage, she slits the bellies of the giant creatures.

"You only say that cause you are the butt of the joke, no one likes to be the butt of the joke so I understand your pain," Dick grins as he plunges his hands inside a spider's head, he removes it, the skin around his arm had melted away.  Pointing his weapon behind his head, he fires off into a spider that was about to leap at him.

"Speaking about butt, you got the lovely raw material, hope you got an asshole in there too" Dick grins.
Lefinna gives Dick a cruel look, she dashes towards him, Dick tries to stand his ground but he was hit with such overwhelming force he got knocked off the ground, his weapon drops to the ground.
KLAANNG!!!

"Come on, Leffy, you know I am now immune to your mind tricks, you ain't winning this round, love," Dick says getting up to his feet.
Lefinna gives a mild smile, she bent her head as if trying to avoid something, a green liquid appeared behind her, it splashed all over Dick's crotch.

"AAARGH!!" Dick cries in pain as he watches the organ melt.

"You aren't the only one with a mind here," Lefinna grins at him.
Dick looked at her, he was obviously in pain as he looked like he wanted to take a crap, he covered his crotch.

"By the way, I don't have any mechanical parts, just nanites in my blood.  I possess every necessary human organ," Lefinna says holding out a hand to him.
Dick grabs on to it, getting up to his feet
"You could have just said that."

"Yeah, but I wouldn't be able to do this" Lefinna smiles.
"What do you mean?" Dick asks, struggling to get to his feet.
"This!" Lefinna says as she sends her right leg flying in the air, it connects in between Dick's legs.  Dick slumps to the ground, his face, twisting in pain.