Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
"How often do I need to tell you?" You looked him dead in the eye, your own eyes watering as his were just blank, it seemed like he was in his own world.
"You know that I don't want to do this." He suddenly whispered, his voice breaking as he spoke. Duff looked down at the empty bottle of vodka in his hand.
"Then why are you doing this?" You spoke, sounding frustrated as your voice was getting louder and louder. "Why, Duff?"
"Because I am fucking addicted to it." He suddenly yelled, causing you to take a few steps back at his sudden outburst. You were a little overwhelmed, since you didn't think he was going to admit it that fast. "Because I am a fucking alcoholic."
"Because you are a fucking alcoholic." You whispered, repeating his words carefully. He was an alcoholic. You told him to stop a hundred times already, but he wouldn't listen. No matter how often you would tell him not to drink alcohol anymore, you would always find him passed out in a corner, an empty bottle of some strong alcohol in his hand.
Then there was a silence between the two of you.
"Why are you drinking so much? What's bothering you?" You asked, calming down a little as you took a few steps closer to him.
"You wanna know what's bothering me?" He whispered in a dangerous tone. You swallowed. "You."
Before you could even think of any response, your stomach felt like it was doing flip. He couldn't know, it wasn't possible for him to find out that-
"You think I don't know what you did?" He asked, now it was his turn to almost start crying. "That's why I am drinking so much. Because I don't want to feel the pain of knowing that you secretly are with another man. Because I don't want to see you coming home with a smile on your face, happier than you've ever been before because you are with him."
As he spoke his words, his brown eyes were fixed on yours. Now, you didn't feel anger or sadness because your boyfriend was drinking himself to death, you felt guilt. Or better yet, you always felt guilt, whether it was while having sex with him of just cuddling with him, because you knew that you weren't loyal. But you managed to hide it, or so you thought.
"And you think I am the fucking reason that our relationship is slowly breaking apart." He cried. You had never seen him cry before, and knowing that he cried because of you made you feel an unbelievable amount of pain.
"Do you even know how often I lay awake at night, thinking about the good times we had? How we were always laughing with one another, how you told me to shut up when I said something embarrassing about you, how our small arguments always ended with us cuddling in bed, telling each other how much we love one another." Tears were streaming down his face, his eyes red, his bottom lip trembling like crazy as he hiccuped, holding the bottle of vodka in his hand a little tighter.
"I love you, y/n. So much. To the moon and back, I would do everything for you." He whispered, his voice barely audibly as you couldn't help yourself but let all of the tears, that you were holding back the entire time, finally escape your eyes. "But I can not really love you if I know that I am not enough for you."
"You- you are enough for me." You whispered back, touching his hot cheek as he just shook his head.
"I am not, clearly. But that's okay, I get it. I'm in a band, I'm on tour most of the time." He admitted, swallowing. "Just- don't try to make me feel guilt for something you did."
It hurt you so much, seeing him so vulnerable. He was breaking apart, but so were you. Your heart was shattering in a million pieces as he spoke these words. You loved him, you really did. But there was something, or better yet, someone else, that made you feel almost the same.
Almost.
"I am so sorry." You managed to croak out, as you pulled him into a hug. "I want to get through this with you, but I know that you don't want to."
"I will get help from somewhere, I promise you that I will." He mumbled in the crook of your neck as you hugged him even tighter, feeling the warmth of his body for what felt like the last time. "I still love you, and I always will."
You sighed, your whole body trembling, not being able to cope with the amount of pain you felt in that very moment. You loved him too, so much. But you didn't dare to say it, because you knew that it was over.
Five years of happiness, five years of sticking together through anything and everything, it was ending right now. Duff was just a lovable memory.
But you needed to tell him, one last time. So that he knew that he would always be one of the most important people in your life, no matter what's going to happen.
