existence within earth

n i n e t e e n

She was the high prize in a running contest,

I wished I could run, win what I thought would change me,

what would fullfil or free the cage in me — you know,

children are scared of monsters,

so was I,

scared to death from what was feeding in me with every fucking try to please her.

I was in a contest, of running — for my life perhaps.

The only flaw was that I had no limbs to carry the burden that built in my chest,

I was a hopeless cause, stuck in my own self.

Excluded from what was around me and included what was growing inside me.