Chapter 1 Feels Like Forever

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My life wasn't always like it is now. It use to be calmer, less violent. But not really. Practically the same amount, but not as hard, or as cruelly demanding, or as much. It was like maybe once a week to like if I disobeyed what dad wanted on a certain day. But even THAT didn't start when I was elementary school.

The abuse started after my mum died. She died when I was going into middle school. She was driving home from work one night, she was working overtime, and she was approaching an intersection and she had the green light when a drunk driver ran right into the driver's side of the car, killing upon impact. Everybody felt disappointed that she was the one to go, not my father. He drank but not as much as he does now. He only drank on Fridays, a few Sundays, and when my uncles came over. But after the crash, he started drinking every day, and much heavier. When he started beating me, one of my uncles asked him why.

"Cause she looks too much like her mother!!!" He slurfully yelled and hit me over the head with his beer bottle. After that, my uncles and aunts stopped visiting and people stopped calling. Eventually, nobody came by to see how we were dealing.

By 7th grade, he started to sexually abuse me, along with the physical, mental, and emotional abuse he caused. He started calling me sexual slurs, like slut and whore, that kids my age would start to "jokingly" say to each other. I lost so many friends because of him. They all thought I was kidding because I never said anything about it before and I just wanted attention. I never lost so much hope in one year than I did in 7th grade.

So, the start of high school, I never thought that HE would ever be interested in me or talking to me. I never thought that anybody would be interested in talking to someone with a messed up home life.

He was a tall fellow. Maybe like 6 foot to 6 foot 3 inches. Deep blue eyes and long, blond hair. The thing about his hair, though, it had brunette underneath it. The last time I check, he never dyed it. He always wears the same fray sweatshirt, longish, mild gray, the normal zipper up the front. It always had the loveliest black designs on it. And from the look of it, it was fuzzing on the inside.

I guess I got lost in my thoughts just staring at him cause I heard him talking about something, which broke me out of my trance.

"What?" I asked, kinda embarrassed. "So-sorry I wa-wasn't pay-paying a-attention. I ju-just go-got lo-lost in my thou-thoughts I gu-guess."

He chuckled before he said, "Na, it's ok. I get that all the time. But what I was saying was that why are you sitting here all alone? Don't you have any friends that you could talk to, or at least walk around with?" It was gym class, or at least the beginning of it anyway. After our teachers calls our names we go get changed then walk around the gym until one of the teachers blows the whistle and we do stretches. After that we do whatever is in the curriculum for that specific grade's gym class.

"I for-forgot my clo-clothes to-today," I lied. I had my clothes, I just didn't want to get changed and have everyone see the slightly darker than pale scars on my arms from my cuts. I started to shift around slightly in my spot at the thought of that, moving my arms up to grip my forearms. I looked up at him to see that his face had soften and his eyes held that sadden but concerned look. And by the looks of it, he actually forgot his clothes.

"By the way," he started. "My name's Owen. You look and seem like a nice kid that I'd ACTUALLY like be friends. See those kids over there." He pointed to the group of kids that he was standing with, all looking about 6 feet or so, with him blending in nicely, before he came over to me and I nodded. "Well, I don't think that I want to be friends with them anymore. They think it's funny to pick on people because of their race and gender and basically everything that's physical. Like earlier, when you sat down after you left the locker room, they saw on how pale you are and started laughing about how you looked like a vampire, and they wanted to see if you had any fangs. I just simply told them leave you alone, and how you did nothing to them so why should they do something to you. I'm sorry if you don't want to hear any of this. I'm a bit of a ranter when it comes to this. I was wondering if you wanted to say anything."

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