Creative Writing

What was Kindness

I never knew what kindness was as a young spawn. Humans never expressed that to me. My own kind didn't think it was needed. Humans just wanted to use me for their own gain. I lived alone for a long time, never knew that humans could be compassionate towards anything else. They could barely respect each other after all. As I slowly grew and the world around me changed, at some point, I ended up in a care facility for... gifted children. Children who were special, ones that humans often couldn't handle or just wanted for personal usage. The applications were extremely vigorous to the point we were often given up with no hopes of moving on until we outgrew it.

While the home did their best, things still happened. And the rare occasion that someone was adopted out was a large deal. I was one of those children. I was never a problem child there. If anything, they had to often coax me to do anything, including eating. So it was a little easier to give me away and keep me in a better home. A kind human mother with a child of her own decided to take the risk of taking me under her wing. She wanted to take another child as she had recently learned that she was unable to bear anymore.

But why me of all the children? I'll never know. There were plenty of others with less risks. Less chance of hurting someone. Some with no risks at all! But she requested me over and over again as I learned later on. I'll never understand humans.

She welcomed me into her home with open arms. Her son, my human equivalent, welcomed me as well. But I did not welcome them. I was a burden to them. I was another mouth they had to feed, another annoyance to deal with. I refused to be another problem.

Arriving at their home, I could see it was around what most would call middle class. A lovely two story house with plenty of space for a family of two and a plus one. Lucy, the mother, took me to what was the room I was to stay in. It had the bare minimum; a bed, a dresser, and a closet. All I had was a suitcase of clothes and a pillow.

"I'm sorry for the lack of decor, I was hoping we could go shop together and you can decorate it to your heart's content!" she smiled as she placed the suitcase by the closet.

I shook my head. This was more than enough for me. "No, not today?" she asked, tilting her head.

"That's okay, I understand. You probably want to settle in first."

I sat next to the bed quietly, taking in the bare walls. She only smiled and said she would check in on me later once I unpacked. Though I didn't touch my clothes. I would only have to pack them again anyways. Instead, I chose to sit in the corner of the room to stay out of the way. She had left the door halfway open to check in on me every now and then. But I hadn't moved.

Days went by like this. I spent my nights asleep on the floor, but I'd somehow end up on the bed by morning. I'd always make the bed and sit back down where I was originally. She tried to coax me into doing anything, even just leaving the room to eat. But I just refused to go beyond the end of the hallway.

Any food that was pushed towards me would end up back on the table they ate at. I couldn't eat their food, that would be a waste of money. The more she and Leo tried to pursue any sort of reaction or a response, the more I retreated. I couldn't be any more of a waste of space to them. She tried to get me to talk about any sort of interests I had, but I didn't have any. I was content to spend my time in the room, out of their sights and minds. I had set my clothes by the door though. Folded and placed neatly next to the suitcase. Still ready to be packed at a moment's notice, but enough to know I was going to stay here for a while longer.

Leo often sat outside of the door of the room and read to me out loud. He was very fascinated by dinosaurs at the time. He would slip photos under the door to show me what he was reading about. I always took a glance before slipping it back to him. I found that hours would pass as he sat there, reading and trying to show me photos. Why did he sit there for so long... who knows?

His room was right next to the one I was staying in. Sometimes at night, he would knock on the wall to ask if I was still awake. Most times I didn't answer but it didn't stop him from talking to me. The walls were thin enough so his voice travelled through them. It was often pointless chatter but I could hear him talk to his stuffed toys too.

"Do you think he's mute? Or maybe he really doesn't like us... I hope he at least likes mom, she's trying really hard. It's okay if he doesn't like me, he's got a lot of reasons too now."

One night, I had decided to leave the room for some reason or another. It was late, Leo had been asleep a long time. But Lucy was still up, talking to someone.

"I just don't know what I'm doing wrong. He refuses to leave his room, he's constantly sleeping on the floor, he hasn't even put away his clothes. He keeps them folded next to the suitcase. I've tried being patient with him but he barely looks up at me when I try to talk to him. It feels like... I don't know. It's a little upsetting. I can't even get him to tell me one thing he likes. We haven't decorated the room, it still looks like a prison cell. The most he let me do was put a rug in there. Sometimes, I find Leo sitting outside of his door, reading to him. But there's never a response. I don't know what to do anymore."

I listened to the conversation. I knew how difficult I could be. But it seems like trying to stay out of their way, their lives, was still not enough. The voice on the other end was one of my old caretakers at the home. Sure, I knew this was coming. But for some reason, it still hurt. I could feel the tears swelling in my eyes. I turned to go back to the room, but the floorboards gave me away. She looked up to see me and I quickly ran back to the room. She did not chase after me.

The next morning, I had my suitcase packed and I was sitting by the door. I hugged my knees. I was going back to the home. I just had to wait now until someone could come by to bring me back. It had only been a few months here, though that was usually when people realized they couldn't handle me. She was no exception. I am a difficult thing that often shuts out everything around me.

The door opened quietly and I stood up. I held my suitcase in my hand when Lucy looked at me. "Why are you packed up?" she asked softly. I watched as she bent onto her knees to be at my level. "Drake, honey, let go of your suitcase. You're not going anywhere."

I tilted my head a little, confused. Of course I was going back, why else would she be on the phone with the facility?

"I'm sorry you heard me on the phone last night. I wasn't trying to send you back, I promise. I just... wanted to know where I was going wrong. How I could connect to you and understand why you're adamant on shutting us out," she explained. "I understand that you've been through more than I could ever imagine. That people hurt you for whatever sick reasons. And I know that I can't change your past. But I want to help you heal from it. Take away some of that hurt you're holding onto. I know I've been a bit... intense. Overwhelming, even. But I promise to do things at your pace, okay?"

She wasn't making a whole lot of sense. I don't understand, at my pace? Connecting? Help me? I watched as she brought a book out from behind her.

"Someone told me you liked to read. That you had preferences for certain things as well. So, I dug through my old books and found this." She showed me a book about old mythical creatures that humans encountered. I let go my suitcase and hesitantly took the book from her.

"Thank you..."

She smiled brightly. "Of course! Any time you want another book, all you have to do is show me the one you finished and we can add onto your collection, okay? And if it's alright with you, I'd like to bring a shelf in here for you to store your books," she said, motioning to an empty space. "And put a nice seat of some sort too. Maybe a bean bag?" she offered. That sounded... nice. I nodded softly.

Slowly, she began to understand the way I acted. Why I did the things I did or didn't do. And slowly, I began to open up. Leo and I found common interests such as reading and we would often sit back to back, separated by the door to read together. She helped me put my clothes into the closet, both new and old. The bed sheets were changed to something more of my interest and the room slowly became mine. A desk with a lamp for writing, drawing, and studying. A corner full of books and a place to sit. A bed full of pillows and blankets to keep me warm. Shelves on the walls to hold small trinkets she found me staring at. Of course, I was always weary of the pricing too.

But she opened my eyes to something I've never experienced before. Something new. Something nice. Something she called kindness. Claims that everyone deserves it. And I could finally feel... normal. Kindness.

Everyone does deserve it.