Feelings Incarnate | ✓

30 | Unprepared Torment

Kiara࿐

The reflection that stared back at me through the bathroom mirror shocked me. I looked okay, normal even. But inside, the ache for him gnawed at my heart.

I pulled my lips into a smile, and a frightened sob left my lips when I realised that anyone could easily mistake my lacklustre grin for genuine happiness. It astounded me to think; how could I look so typically normal when I was crumbling into millions of pieces inside?

Plopping face-down onto my bed, I allowed the tears to flow freely down my cheeks, dampening my pillow. I closed my eyes, letting my mind fill with his deep voice. I could hear him teasing me like he was just a foot away from me, my mind filled with his witty statements. I wanted to call his name softly to see if he would suddenly appear in front of me, but I knew this wasn't Hogwarts and I was no Hermione Granger . . .

The longing to see him echoed through me. It was like a piercing wind trapped within the chambers of my heart. With every spare minute, my mind would rehearse a new letter to him. A letter I knew had no way of even reaching him.

Our daily texts. Him sending me a 'Goodnight' every night. Bickering with him over stupid stuff. Faking annoyance when he said a joke. I missed it all.

I never knew that missing someone could take over every fibre of your being and wring you out like a wet sponge every day. It was a torment I wasn't prepared for.

I knew that Mom had reassured me she'd ask about Hayden from his parents, but so far, it didn't seem like she had made any progress. It felt like destiny didn't want us to be together. In all the books I've read and all the movies I've watched, it seemed like fate had a big role in bringing the lovers together. But for me, at that moment, it felt as if fate wanted nothing to do with us, as if fate wanted us apart.

Or perhaps I was overthinking too much.

I heard a knock on the door and pulled the blanket over my head, trying to feign that I was asleep. I didn't want anyone to see my tear-stained pillow.

"Kiara, are you asleep?" I heard Mom ask.

Shutting my eyes tight, I pursed my lips together. Without making a sound, I waited patiently for her to leave.

After a moment of silence, I heard her say, "I'll leave this on your nightstand, be sure to check it out."

When I heard her footsteps fading away and the sound of the door closing behind her, I flipped around and propped myself up on my elbows, glancing at the nightstand curiously.

There, flat under my phone, laid a folded piece of white paper. It looked like someone had crumpled it up, streaks ran across it in irregular patterns, and someone had tried their best to smoothen it out. Raising my phone, I pulled out the piece of paper and studied it. Unfolding it and turning it around, my eyes widened in disbelief at what I saw.

donovanhk@gmail.com

An email address, and judging from the first eight letters, it was his.

Jumping off of my bed, I rushed outside and stopped in front of Mom. Holding the piece of paper out to her, I questioned, "Mom, whose is this?"

"Who else?" she implored back, beaming at me.

I couldn't believe my ears. "But how?"

"I talked with his mother." She shrugged smugly, her eyes glinting with happiness. "Kiara, you don't have to hide your sadness. Denial is never a good thing." She patted my shoulder and said, "Good luck."