What Should I Do

Chapter 3

JENNIE POV.

I don't know how long I didn't see the sun shine, I don't know how many days I spent in my room, in this darkness and dullness. Sitting on my bed, hugging my knees. I'm lonely, they must be disgusted by me. I thought about killing my self, but I'm afraid. I'm afraid to face the death. I didn't attend my class, Irene kept calling me, but I turned off my phone. My house is empty. No one is here. I don't know where is Kai or my dad.

When I entered my house after Lisa dropped me, Kai and my dad was there in our living room. They immediately stood up when I opened the door, their face full of worries. Seeing them made me lost my fortress. I fell down on the floor. I saw fear and anger on my dad's face. Noticed my condition, something bad happened to me, they know it. They hugged me and help me to sit on the couch. It needs hours for me to calm and told them what happened. Their faces were pale; my story sucked their blood and left their face white like corpses. They didn't say anything, but I know they were broken and mad, like I did.

Kai took me to my room, he helped me to sit on my bed, he caressed my head before he walked out and closed the door. No words. I staring on the empty spaces, feel abandoned and disgust by my self.

"Found her." I heard my dad's voice.

"Dad, I have something to tell you." Kai answered him. I remember Lisa's words, If you want to know the answer, ask your brother. Does he knows why is it happened to me? I can't hear their voice again, they might went to my father's library. I walk to my bathroom, turned on the shower, I stayed there for hours, tried to wash all the dirt over my body, but it can't be gone.

LISA POV.

He came to me. I was staying in my office when Tzuyu, my secretary called me, and told me Kai was looking for me. I prepared my self to welcome him. Finally, I could meet him face to face. Tzuyu opened the door and I saw his face. I hate him, I could kill him right here, right now.

"Tzuyu, close the door and don't let anyone come." I said, she nodded and closed the door, leaving the two of us. I walked to the little bar behind my table, I poured some whiskey in to the glass. "Drink?" I asked him, raised my glass. He didn't answer me, but staring on me, I can see madness and anger through his gaze.

"I didn't come for drink." He said coldly. "We need to talk."

I smiled to him, "I'm waiting for it since two years ago." I said. He hold his fist tightly. Mad? Me too, asshole. "Let's take a seat, then." I said. I sat on the couch, folding my feet casually and sipping my whiskey, yet I still being vigilant.

"Stop this trash." He said, still standing there. "What did you do to my sister?" He asked me.

I laughed, laughed so hard, with his funny words. Then I stopped and staring on him. "That's my question two years ago." I said, I put the whiskey on the table and stood up, I walked in front of him, and faced him. "Where have you been?" I asked him. "You didn't show up, you run, that's why I came to you, I chased you." I said. He stepped back.

"It was my fault! Not Jennie! Why did you do this to her?" He asked me.

"Kai, Kai. I did it for you. You need to know how it feels." I said and laughed. "But don't worry. I'm still a good person." I said, walked back behind my table. "I will marry your sister, and take the responsibility." I smiled to him.

"What's your plan?! I will kill you if you did something bad to her." He said. He came closer, the only table prevented us.

"I already did." I said. "You should kill me since you came to this room."

JENNIE POV.

"She will marry you, Jennie." My dad told me. Marry me? Is it what she want? I didn't answer my dad. He sat in front of me, Kai is beside him.

"Why?" That's the only word come from my mouth. I kept asking why is it happened to me. They remain silent. "Why, dad? Why is it happened to me?" I asked him, he throw his gaze anywhere but me. "Why, Kai?" I asked Kai. He looked down, afraid to facing me. Does he knows the reason?

I smiled weakly to them, no, not to them, I smiled to my life, mocking my self. I'm still 23 years old, and I should marry a girl I just know because she raped me. It's a fair story for me, right? I thought my dad would fill the lawsuit to demand Lisa. But he didn't. What's wrong with him? Lisa broke my future and he just told me that Lisa wants to marry me? I understand, for society nowadays, sexual orientation and virginity is not a big deal, but losing virginity by raping, it would be a big deal. "I know you know the answer. She told me." I said. They remained silent.

I stood up from my seat, "I will follow it. I will marry her." I said and walked back to my room. The only place no one could bother me. I sat on my bed and crying, crying is the only thing I could do. I want to blame someone on this unfair life, but who? God? No, it's a shame on blame Him for the mischance that beset on me. If my mom was here, she might be hug me and tell me everything is okay, even it's not. I understand, I only have two choices, either I have to be strong and accept the truth, or slumped by my conditions. I choose the first one, my life shouldn't be over like this.

Today is my marriage day, since I was a kid, I dreamed to have a white wedding, with someone I love and loves me back. My friends will come, also my family. I would wear a beautiful wedding gown with my loved one beside me, looking to my eyes lovingly. I dreamed it will be the happiest day in my life.

"You look so beautiful." The woman told me. I don't know who she is, they sent her to prepare me. Do I look beautiful with my swollen eyes? I smiled to her. She touched my shoulder. "Especially with that smile." She said. She left me alone after that. I stared on my reflection in the mirror. Be tough, Jen. I told my self.

In the emptiness, I called back the memory, when Lisa get off from the car and hugged the cat. Where is the old Lisa? Why did she do this to me? My question remain a question, no one answer it.

"Jennie, let's go." My dad called me, waking me up from my thought. I didn't answer him, but I followed him. Kai drove the car, I sat on the back seat. I don't know where they will take me.

We stopped in front of a little church. There is only one car there. It's Lisa's car. We will get married here. I still afraid to face her, I still remember everything she did to me. I told my self to be strong. I must.

I walked inside the church. She stood up near the entrance door with two elders with her. But they're not her parents, too young to be her parents.

"So, here is the bride." She said, she throws her gaze to Kai. Her sight full of revenge, built a tense atmosphere in the room. "Ahjumma, please call the priest." She said to the elder woman behind her. I'm right, they're not her parents. The priest come with smiles on his face, if only he knows it's not a happy marriage.

"Let's do it" Lisa said and took my hand. I immediately pulled my hand from her, I did it unconsciously. She laugh, and took my hand once again, put it on her arms. "Don't be afraid with your wife." She said and smiled, that smile is so cold and build the fear in me. I feel like dying, I didn't follow the ceremony, what they said, and what happened, until I have to say my vows to her.

"Ms. Kim," The priest called me, I still silent when it's my turn to say "I do". I tried to talk but I can't, I cried, I can't hold my tears.

"I'm sorry, she is too touching by this moment." Lisa said. Smiled to the priest. "Please repeat it."

"Lalisa Manoban, do you take Kim Jennie for your lawful wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death tear you apart?" The priest asked her.

"I do." She said with clear voice, didn't take her gaze from me.

"Kim Jennie, do you take Lalisa Manoban for your lawful wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death tear you apart?"

I gulp, I push my self to talk. Lisa still looking at me. I took a deep breath, "I do" I heard my self said, and she smiled to me.

"Thank you." She said.

I don't realize what goes on until I sat on her car. Not in my dad's car. She drove the car. I stared on the road. She turned on the music between our silent. She took me to the same house she took me that night. I feel traumatize and scared, stood like a stupid person in front of it, afraid to come in. Memory strikes back. "Come in." She said. I freeze on my place. She grabbed my wrist. "Come in." She repeated, but I stay still.

"Are you afraid?" She came closer and asked me. Her voice is flat. She tilted my chin to look at her, her doe eyes are cold and empty. I throw my gaze from her eyes, "From now on, this is your home." She said and coldly smiled. "Let's come in." She dragged me inside.