What Should I Do

Chapter 2

Trigger warning!

JENNIE POV.

What's happened to me? I just drank a glass of wine, and I feel so dizzy and limp. Am I drunk?

"Lisa.. Take me home, I think I can't take it anymore." I told her. She put her glass on the table.

"Sure." She said with her poker face. Is it only my feeling, or she looks really scary right now? She stood up from her seat. I tried to stand but I feel giddy. She caught me on my waist. I propped on her. "Come on." She said. The dizziness is getting more intense. It's hitting my head. I followed her. I need to exert all my power to get to the lobby, when it's not so far. We are waiting for the car. Lisa still wrapped her arm on my waist, or else I can't stand.

She helped me to get in the car and fasten the seat belt for me. I am too limp to do it by my self. I never be like this. It's just a glass of wine, oh come on, Jennie.

She stared at me for a while, exhaling a deep breath. She is so weird. She starts to drive to take me home. I closed my eyes to reduce the dizziness, but it's not working. The street lamps flashing in my eyes, my sight is getting blurry, yet I still could recognize everything I saw. Lisa stopped the car, but I don't know where it is. She get off the car and opened my door. Where is it? It's not my house, I don't know this place. I want to ask her but my ability to talk is gone. She carried me to the house. I want to rebel and run, it's not drunk, I'm under influence of something worst than alcohol. My sight is getting more blurred. She opened a door, it's a room, my hand hanging loosely, My purse entwined on my wrist and falls down on the floor, my stuffs are scattered on the floor. She put me on the bed. I am so afraid, yet so weak. I can't scream for help.

She sat on the bed, and staring at me for a while, then throw her sight away. Fears began to creep on me. I have a feeling that something bad will be happens to me. Lisa hold her head, she looks frustrated. God, please safe me from anything bad, my body getting more weird. I feel paralyzed yet I still conscious, my eyes blurred but my ears can hear very well, I still recognize anything happened in this room, on my self, on Lisa. I heard her sobbing, is she crying? Why? My phone is ringing, it must be my brother looking for me. I broke my curfew. They will looking for me. Lisa took my phone from the floor and stared on it, her face turned to be full of anger. My phone stopped ringing, Lisa rejected the call, she put the phone on the table. I can't see her face anymore, everything turned foggy in my eyes, but I can see her figure. She come closer to me. Everything became worst, my ears buzzed, my sight is foggy, my head is heavy, I lost my senses. A cold hand tried to rip my dress, I want to scream. "I'm sorry." She said in my ear. I feel her skins on me, but I can't do anything. Tears fall from my eyes. "I'm sorry.." She said once again, and I lost everything.

LISA POV.

It's not as easy as I thought. I was distracted and pitied her, I took her to my house, to my room. It's not her faults, of course it's not fair for her. I frustrated, I confused between my plan and my feeling. Her phone is ringing, I took it, it was him, his face appears on the screen, smiling in happiness. It raised my anger, he smiles when other people dying, crying and broken. It must be done, Lisa. I told myself. I rejected his call and turned off her phone. I put it on the table. I faced her, and took of my shirt. She just like a doll, lying helpless on my bed. I ripped her dress, anger took of my mind, I threw away anything from my mind. "I'm sorry." I said on her ear, as I get on her top. I can feel my skins touched her. Her body under the cosh, but not her mind, I saw tears fall from her eyes. No, it's not the right time to step back. "I'm sorry.." I said it again, I am really sorry, I have to do it. She is crying in her powerlessness.

•-•

I lie on her side, staring on the ceiling, she doesn't make any moves, in fact she can't, she is under drugs effect. I looked on her face, she is pale, sweating, and messed up, yet still beautiful. Looks like an undead beside me. Guilt struck in my heart. I took her future, crumbling her. My chest feels hurt, I got up from the bed, longer I saw her face, the bigger guilt struck on me. I took my pants and went to the bathroom. Although her body paralyzed, I know her brain is still working, she knows that I raped her. Did I enjoy it? No. Not at all.

I look on my reflection in the mirror. Is that me? She is different, she is not me, her face is expressionless, messed, her eyes is empty.

A chat notification appears on my phone, It's on the counter, I peeked on it, her face appears on my wallpaper. I took my phone, staring on her happy smiles that already gone. "It's just begin," I said with a low voice. "Did he feel the same with me?" I asked her. The only answer is silent.

JENNIE POV.

It's a nightmare that I never dream in my life. She took away my life, my pride. Under my powerlessness, I feel tortured. I cried, cried and pitied my self, feel disgusting and detestable. I feel soreness and paint over my body, especially on my sensitive areas. My body paralyzed, my sight blurred, my ears buzzing, but my brain is working well. I cried, cried for my stupidity and for her cruel and callous actions. What's my fault so she did this to me? Soreness, paint, and hurt trounced me, or it's because the drugs she gave me, I closed my eyes, if I should die, It could be nice.

When I opened my eyes, I think I was dreaming, or dead. But I'm still alive. My brain recalled the memory, fear grows, I tried to sit. I have to go, or she will do the worst thing. What will be the worst? Die? It's better, isn't it?

My legs trembled when I tried to stand and grabbed my clothes, it's disheveled and scattered on the floor. No one is here. I wore it immediately and put my stuffs in my purse. I need to run from this place.

I still knelled on the floor when she opened the door. I'm afraid of her, I tried to stand, holding on the bed. She stared at me, no emotion on those eyes, but still I feel afraid. She make a move, one step closer to me. "Please, please don't." I said, I don't realize tears pour down from my eyes. I felt something pressing against my chest, it's dread.

"I will take you home." She said and turned to walk outside. What's in her mind? "I will wait for you outside." She said. She acts like nothing happened. I tried to strengthen myself, even my feet trembled and dread controlled myself. I'm lost, unconsciously I followed her. I sat beside her on the car. She looked at me, now those eyes are full of pity on me. She touched my cheek to wipe my tears, but I ward her hand.

"Don't touch me!" I said, I moved backwards, but blocked by the door. She pulled off her hand, and stared on the wheels.

"Don't blame me for this." She said with low voice and start to drive.

I don't answer her but cried, cried harder. "Why, why did you do it to me?" I repeated the same question between my tears.

No words escaped from her lips. She get off from the car, she grabbed my wrist and pulled me out. She took me to my home. "If you want to know the answer, ask your brother!" She said, the emotion mixed on her eyes, hurt, madness, and sadness. "I won't run." She said. "He knows where to find me."

LISA POV.

The light on Jennie's eyes and the smile on her face is gone. I should be happy for that, it's my revenge, but I am not. Even more, I feel hurt and sad inside. I broke her life, Jennie could be depressed, and anything worst. She asked me why did I do it to her? I want to scream, I don't want to do this! Asked your brother! I want to hug her and say sorry, but apologize won't turn back the time. Furthermore, it's my plan, I should stick on it.

I took Jennie to her house, and dragged her out of my car. "If you want to know the answer, ask your brother!" I told her, she look at my eyes, I look back to Jennie's cat-like-eyes, I feel hurt and sad, but I remember the caused of my revenge made me mad. "I won't run. He knows where to find me." I said. Yes, I won't run. I came for revenge, I want him to face me. I left Jennie in front of her house.

I'm driving my car on high way, I need to go to that place, to see her, even she doesn't know what happened outside her world, and no one understand what's inside her world. It's been two years, she lived in her world, because of him.