Chapter thirty five

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"Hey z,I know that it's been a while. It will probably be on the news by now but Um my mum. She died last night. It was leukaemia. She wanted me to make amends with you. I'm sorry for the way we left things. I know I said some things, did some things that were stupid. I was just hurting. I felt, I don't know, betrayed. I see now that you had to leave. It was stupid of me to think otherwise. I was struggling and you were the easiest target. I knew you weren't going to pick up. I'm not sure if you have my number blocked. I got my attitude problem under control. Found out it was multiple personality disorder. I know you probably won't listen to this but I've got a performance on the x-factor tomorrow. I really need you there. Let me know. Even if you're not coming." The brunette hit the red circle. He felt sick to his stomach. At one point he wouldn't have even had to call Zayn to let him know because he would have been there. Tragic what happened really.

Louis quickly walked out of the dim bedroom and into the melancholy living room where his ex band mates and Harry were sat. He moved to sit immediately next to the tallest boy. "Li, you want to go for a drink?" The boy asked shyly.

Liam's faces dropped slightly. "Sorry mate, you know I'm trying to stay sober for a bit." He hummed gently as if the boy was surrounded by eggshells. "Plus do you think it's the best  idea to go drinking?" He added knowing just how bad it was to cope with your issues through alcohol.

"I just need to feel normal." He snapped pushing himself out of Harry's arms. "I'll go ask Lottie." He huffed walking out of the room.

- - -

The next morning Louis was woken with a blinding headache forcing him to stay under the plush covers of his bed. Before long daisy walked into the room shyly. Louis simply opened his arms allowing the girl to dive into his embrace. The boy made sure to hold his little sister close. "I love you so much dais." He hummed quietly pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

The pair stayed like that for an hour until Harry came in with a mug of tea and some late breakfast. Eventually the rest of his siblings filled into the room all finding a way to fit on the bed. That's how they let the second day of their mother being gone pass.

By the time the sun set Louis had figured Zayn wasn't going to call. He hoped that Zayn would show at his performance.

- - -

The loud chatter distracted Louis from the ache in his heart. He was reminded that he was loved. Yet as Louis began to do a head count he realised there was one person missing making pain fall onto him like a pile of bricks. Zayn wasn't there.

Eventually liam and Niall filled into the room. They could instantly sense Louis disappointment. Without missing a beat they both squeezed Louis as hard as possible. Harry stood to the other side of the boy rubbing a hand up and down his back.

Zayn never returned Louis' call but he still had a sliver of hope. Hope that he would show up. The hope was now crushed.

There was never a lull in sound. For the most part it was happy laughter and banter. Eventually time ticked on making everything seem to slow. Louis knew it was only getting closer to the group being called out of the room to move to their seats which would leave Louis to his own devices.

As if on cue one of the workers knocked on the door. "We are about to start. We recommend taking your seats" she said with a smile before slipping out of the room once again. The group began gathering their things and giving Louis wishes of luck.

Soon enough it was only Harry left in the room with Louis. The younger of the pair could sense the others fear. "It's a great song, love. You are going to do so well, I know it. Okay? I love you." He assured before leaving a delicate kiss on Louis' lips.

Within the next half an hour Louis was being called to stage. His nerves only ran higher as he got closer to the stage. The lights went down and Louis was cued onto stage. The silence was deadly. The electronic beat began. The lights began to shine once again. The silence stayed as thousandth of eyes focused in on Louis.

"Wish that you could build a time machine
So you could see
The things no one can see
Feels like you're standing on the edge
Looking at the stars
And wishing you were them"

Louis thought about himself all those years ago when he stood on the same stage. A nervy eighteen year old that just wanted to be famous. He had no clue what was in store for him.

"What do you do when a chapter ends?‬
‪Do you close the book and never read it again?‬
‪Where do you go when your story's done?‬
‪You can be who you were or who you'll become
Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh oh, if it all goes wrong
Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh oh, darling just hold on"

Louis thought about the fact this was the beginning of another similar career. Just hoping he could make it. This was his new chapter. He stood in the middle of a storm caused by so many things going wrong and he was starting again.

‪"The sun goes down and it comes back up
‪The world it turns no matter what
Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh oh, if it all goes wrong
Darling, just hold on"

Louis thought about his sisters. All the things they would now face without the presence of their mother. He knew they were hurting the most. Although their mother passing was incredibly sad he knew one day they'd all be okay

"It's not over 'til it's all been said
‪It's not over 'til your dying breath
‪So what do you want them to say when you're gone?‬
‪That you gave up or that you kept going on?‬"

Louis thought about his mother. All the things she would miss. How she would never see her daughters walk down an aisle. How she would never experience the excitement of another grand child. How she would never see Louis' first album. How she would never see all the wonderful things her daughters planned in doing.

‪"What do you do when a chapter ends?‬
‪Do you close the book and never read it again?‬
‪Where do you go when your story's done?‬
‪You can be who you were or who you'll become
Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh oh, ‪if it all goes wrong
Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh oh, darling just hold on"

Louis thought about Zayn. He had moved on to better things now seemingly forgetting all about his own past. Forgetting about the band. Forgetting about Louis. That thought stung.

‪"The sun goes down and it comes back up
‪The world it turns no matter what
Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh oh, if it all goes wrong
Darling, just hold on"

Louis thought about Harry. His beautiful husband. His husbands that was truly too good for this world. Louis knew he'd put Harry though a lot that year. Louis knew Harry also hurting but he knew one day they'd be okay.

"Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh oh
Darling, just hold on
Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh oh
If it all goes wrong
Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh oh
Darling just hold on"

Louis thought about his fans. His wonderful fans that had shown nothing but love and support over the past few days. He hoped none of them had to go through this pain. He just hoped they would take well to his new music. He hoped his music would help them.

"Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh oh
If it all goes wrong, darling just hold on"

The song finished. Loud cheers filled the room. Louis knew it was only going to get better from there. He may have faced many bumps in the road but he had learnt to grow. He was going to be okay.

Fin

Don't worry there is an epilogue coming
But what r ur thoughts?

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