Finding What Is Lost. SnapeXReader

The Memory

Your heart was aching terribly. You had never felt pain like this before. How can you miss someone you haven't even left yet? Maybe it was the thought that you might never see him again that hurt you so bad. He was a potions teacher. You...well you didn't know what you wanted to be, but it wasn't a teacher that was for sure. But maybe? Maybe you would become one and work here at Hogwarts one day just so you could work side by side to Professor Snape.

Ugh. Even thinking his name hurt your heart. You could here the train outside the building. You saw almost all the teachers spread throughout the group of students. You couldn't look at where you knew he would be. You just couldn't bare it. You were sitting on the ground up against the wall, prolonging the inevitable time of having to get out and leave to get on the Hogwarts train and go back to what was supposed to be your home. But Hogwarts was your home...wasn't it? Home is where the heart is. And your heart is here. Or maybe you were mistaken. Maybe your heart wasn't here at Hogwarts but rather he who held your heart was here at Hogwarts. But did he really hold your heart? Can someone hold a heart they don't even know they possess. Did Professor Snape even know how much you truly cared about it.

A burst of heart wrenching yacks of cries spewed from your mouth. It wasn't pretty. But you couldn't help it. Tears after tear poured down your face. You never allowed yourself to cry so why were you now? You couldn't help but let them come, or you might burst into oblivion. But maybe bursting into oblivion was better than the pain you felt now.

You had already said your goodbyes to Dumbledore. He had always been fond of you and you of him but saying goodbye to him didn't cause even the half the pain you felt now. He was like a father and for some reason you felt like this would not be the last time you would see him. Professor Snape on the other hand, there was no hope  of ever seeing him again.

You cried and cried. The few students who passed you said nothing, all too focused on themselves though you were loud enough to draw eyes towards you. But the students eyes were not what you were seeking. You wanted nothing in this moment but to allow your emotions to spill out because once you got on that train you would not allow anymore.

"Miss Rose?" A voice called out. You stopped, looked up, knowing immediately who the voice belonged to. Professor Snape was looking at you with a concerned face from across the hall quite a few feet away.

You could not contain it any longer. You jumped out, still crying your heart out. Not caring about the confused look on the the professors face you ran as fast as you could towards him. When you got to him you reached your arms around him and held a tight embrace. You could tell he was quite taken aback, but you ignored it and held onto him even tighter. Your wet face and continuous tears quickly drenched his robe.

You began to mumble things through your tears to Professor Snape, but in between your sobs they were incomprehensible. You went on and on how you didn't want to leave, how you wanted to stay with Snape, how you couldn't bare to leave him, how ever since you had begun at Hogwarts you had loved him. Though you were pouring your heart out to him while embracing him as though he were your life support, it all came out sounding like, "Whenever..." Inaudible muffled words, "Because I did and I do..." Wrenching hiccup like cry, "in a..." Muffled voice. No one could really know what your were saying. You barely knew what you were saying.

Finally you felt Snape's arms wrap around your body instead of staying limp as they had been the whole time. Immediately you stopped speaking, and your cries began to settle. Your heart slowed down, and your shakiness went away. Snape's arms seemed to make all the troubles go away. All that mattered was this moment. He did not rest his head on yours but his tight embrace was enough for you.

This precious moment would last you a lifetime.