We've met [h.s]

12

- Harry -

3 months. It's been 3 months since I left Caitlyn behind. Everything has been chaotic. My life is one big mess without her. I got her texts, phonecalls and I even saw her tweets. I left her. But I didn't have a choice.

After I did the twitcam, the other boys came. We went back to London, where people were already waiting for us. We wrote songs during WWAT, and now we've got our fourth album, so, we were about to do interviews and promos and all that stuff.

I didn't answer Cait, I couldn't. Management. They told me I needed to leave her alone, and I couldn't disagree. I'd lie if I would say I didn't think about her,  because I did. Every second of the day.

The boys tried to distract me, Niall even went golfing with me, he felt sorry for me, they all did. But I didn't need pity, I needed Caitlyn.

Yesterday was the day I started to truly break  down. It started when Niall woke me up. I patted on the bed to feel if she was there, like I did on most of the mornings. But she wasn't there.

Later on, we had an interview. The interviewer asked if there were any special songs, as in, song we wrote for someone. I almost choked on my water.

Of course I wrote a song about her.

'Don’t go, it’s not the same when you're gone, and it’s not good to be all alone.'

I'm fucking obvious. It was when she left, for like the 3rd time maybe four, I'm a dickhead, when I wrote a bit of Change your ticket. The rest came later.

The boys all just talked a bit to the two, but my mind went all about Caitlyn.

After the interview I went to the hotelroom, curled up in a ball on the bed and just laid there.

Niall came in a while later, maybe an hour later, maybe two. He sat down next to me and talked to me for an hour, about that I'll be okay. Normally I would have agreed with Niall, but this time, I was not convinced. "Man, you really need to get drunk," he said while shaking his head. I didn't even try to smile, I couldn't. All the life was sucked out of me, and I didn't even want it back.

Because without Caitlyn, it wasn't even worth it.