The Good Guy

Prologue

'Do not stand at my grave and weep; I am not there.'

I stood there with glistening tears streaming down and staining my face as little puffs of white fell, gracing my abnormally, scorching, hot skin with its coldness like brief kisses from an adoring partner.

The snow was fluttering as if it was cherry blossoms in spring, covering the ground pale with its frigid temperature. So dangerously bright due to it shimmering from the winter sun. Glowing and happy, at least that was how I felt. Snowflakes settling on your tombstone where you lay beneath the freshly dug dirt; your name expertly scrawled on the glossy and polished stone in a very pleasing cursive writing, Antheia Sapphire Shaye.

My shoes soaked with the melted snow, numbing my feet.

I know you were here.

Where else would you be if not in that coffin?

'I do not sleep.'

Not anymore because death is eternal. You could not wake from that and you will rot to feed the maggots that'll soon make its home in your corpse until you're nothing but bones.

Sleep had eluded me.

I'm not quite sure when I'll be able to have a good night's sleep.

'I am a thousand winds that blow.'

I knelt into the snow, feeling it melt from my warmth and moistening my black jeans. My heart aching and twisting in so much unbearable pain. Pain because I'm unable to see your beautiful smile and the expressions you'd make at my idiocy. Aching due to the inability to feel your hand in mine or your warmth when you're near.

I'm gasping.

Choking on my sobs.

Begging to breathe again.

Where was that wind which supposed to be you?

'I am the glints on snow.'

Leaning into my knees, I could feel my tears fall from the lashes and into the snow. The cold and unforgiving snow.

You were more than this cold white stuff sprawled on the ground. More than a simple glint.

Antheia, you were something sultry and scintillating.

'I am the sunlight on ripened grain.'

As I clutch my chest tightly in hopes to lessen the agony, I sense a bubbling sensation to scream. To shout. To curse at the universe for taking you so early. So young. I can feel the need to punch something hard to the point blood would ooze out of the wound and drizzle onto the ground, tainting it a crimson red.

You were the sunlight that warmed me. That helped me bloom and grow into a better person.

You've told me that if you died before me, Anne, you'd still be the ray of sun... But, I can't feel you within the pleasant and toasty sunshine. Like, you have simply vanished.

All I can see was the darkness creeping up on me, covering the once bright surrounding with ebony. It was wrapping -more like latching- itself around my ankles as it strived to tug me under the black ickiness. It pulled and pulled, wanting me beneath the waves of insanity and bitterness. The nothingness that was covering me desired to make me feel and be consumed by the pain, losing myself in the grief.

Your sunlight had kept all the negativity away.

Kept me shining bright.

'I am the gentle autumn rain.'