I'M HIS FAN BUT HE'S GONE

CHAPTER THREE

Nico's untimely demise has caused me so much of emotional torture. Nakakabaliw! At a very young age, I have experienced pain in its most tormenting form.

I lost counts of sleepless nights, emotional breakdowns, and reasons of living. OA pero totoo. I don't know pero I just don't consider him as a mere idol.

He was my inspiration, my motivation, the wind beneath my wings.

Nakakatawang kahit hindi nya man lang ako kilala eh taos puso ko naman siyang minamahal.

Nico has his own foundation, The Nico Chan Foundation which focuses on helping children. It gives funds for those unprivileged kids to go to school, and provides aid for the kids battling with cancer.

He's kind, he's compassionate, he's a living angel!

Gwapo, mayaman, sikat na artista, at higit sa lahat, mabait. Almost perfect! Neseye ne eng lehet pete eng pese ke! Ay gaga!

Totoo nga sigurong madaling namamatay ang mga mababait na damo.

I remembered how I pleaded to my parents na lumuwas to attend his mass viewing para sa kanyang mga taga hanga. Nagmakaawa ako para makita ko man lang siya kahit sa huling sandali man lang.

But because ang hirap lumuwas, dagdag pa na wala namang gustong isama ako, napilitan na nalang akong pagtiyagaan ang live coverage ng kanyang burol sa tv.

There I saw thousands of his fans mourning. Lining up to see him in his blue coffin. Mga kaibigan nya sa industriya na dumadalaw sa kanyang lamay, medias from different stations, lalo na ang pamilya nyang walang sawa sa pag asikaso sa mga dumadagsang bisita.

All of the people has one word evident on their faces, panghihinayang.

Different stories regarding the reasons of his death have circulated online.

Medical experts said it is because of Sudden Arrythmic Death Syndrome o bangungot which cause his cardiac arrest.

Some paranormal enthusiasts claimed naman na maybe because of Batibat, a mythical creature from the Ilocano Folklore na nangunguha daw ng kaluluwa ng mga lalake. At pinaka malala, overdosing of illegal drugs naman for those na mga walang kwentang tao.

I would prefer to believe the first two. But yung drugs? No. I know him too well. He's not like that. He actually hates drugs based in one of his interviews.

But whatever the real reason is, he's still gone. And kung ano man ang totoong dahilan ng kanyang maagang pagwala, tuluyan narin itong nahimlay kasama niya.

Summer in second year high school, I decided to visit my tita Bianca, which is kapatid ni mama sa Manila.

The reason? I wanted to pay Nico a visit. That was exactly a year ago since his death. I really wanted to see him. And dahil sa panunulsol ng tita ko sa mga magulang ko, fortunately they agreed. Lol!

Tita Bianca is my closest aunt. She stays in Manila because of her work. She's the youngest sa tatlong magkakapatid. Maybe the reason why I grew fond of her is because of her age din.

She's cool, and very generous. Although wala palaging broken sa love. Marupok eh! Suportado nya din ang kabaliwan ko kay Nico.

When we arrived at Manila Memorial Park, I suddenly felt my knees weak, tears stared to cloud my eyes. Puteks! Nasa gate palang kami naiiyak na ko, pano pag kaharap ko na ang lapida nya? Baka mangisay nalang ako.

"Tita, parang hindi ko yata kaya ..."

"Kayanin mo, Celine. Andito na tayo. Diba matagal mo na tong hinintay?"