* kyle's pov ( im doing this pov so you can understand why kyle is doing this)*
As i sat in bed re-thinking yesterday i couldn't help but feel so stupid. Me and arabella had such a good thing going on but me and my fucking issues had to fuck it up. You're probably like ' kyle wtf why did you do that and why were you acting so cold' well random person in my head i really don't know. Whenever i feel love or passion for someone they either die or leave me in some way. Like my mom, I loved her so much and she died, and my dad , i love him so much and he is suffering from cancer and as much as i hate to say this, he is going to die and i dont know when and i dont want to have that question in my head when i think about her. i love her , i really do but i have a feeling she will leave me some way. i dont know if i could deal with another meaningful person leaving me . So that is basically why i am using ladybird as a distraction from arabella. I thought that maybe if i acted like i had an attraction in someone else i could convince myself that i didnt love arabella and then nothing bad will happen to her, but i cant help but feel like im hurting her more than i would be letting her in.
* arabella's pov*
I woke up this morning still thinking about the events from yesterday. Why was kyle being rude and cold with me after we spent a nice day together and with his father too. I decided that i will try and talk about it with him when we go to the duece today after school. I got dressed and did the same thing i always did and got into jens car. We pulled up at kyles house and he walked outside. instead of him moving towards the middle like he normally does he sat next to the window seat . I tried giving him a smile but he didnt even look at me. i felt a little hurt but didn't let it get to me. We arrived at school and i got out of the car and walked straight to my locker. Jen noticed something was wrong and she walked after me and grabbed my shoulder when we were out of sight from the others. " bell whats wrong" she said scrunching her eyebrows together. " nothing i just don't feel that good" i said. that was partly true. i didn't feel good because kyle wasn't talking to me but i didn't want to seem dramatic so i just went with the sick option. " oh do you still want to go to the duece today" i nodded my head and smiled and told her that i was going to go to the bathroom real quick. she nodded and walked back to out friends and i walked to the bathroom. I looked in the mirror and fixed my hair and took out my blush to put a little color on my face. I finished doing everything and walked out of the bathroom. I walked into algebra class and sat in my regular seat and i was sitting there when i realized that ladybird was trying to join jennas conversation. she started ignoring julie so i started talking to her instead. Ladybird and jenna ended up making plans to do something so jenna * skip to the deuce* we arrived at the deuce
Today is Jen's party and i know kyle will be there so i am going to try and talk to him. see if he is better today than yesterday. i really hope he is because i dont know what i did to make him not like me anymore.
I finished my lunch and put the bowl in the sink and walked upstairs. i decided to leave my hair wavy and do a natural makeup look. and decided to go with this outfit
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and some black boots. I looked in the mirror and fixed certain parts of my hair and put on some perfume and deodorant. I walked downstairs and checked the time and saw it was 7:30 and her party started at 8. I felt a little hungry again and grabbed a poptart. I checked the time and saw it was now 9. how the hell did eating a poptart take like two hours. Jen is going to kill me for being late but whateverrr. I took my keys and locked my door then i crossed the street. I walked up to jens house and saw her lawn littered with solo cups and even some of her furniture. i groaned because i knew jenna would make me clean this up with her. I walked inside and saw her and jonah in the kitchen. " Oh bella hey you made it finally. drinks are on the counter and also youre helping me clean this up tomorrow." she said while smiling. i smiled and rolled my eyes and walked towards the drinks. I didnt want to drink too much just incase i came across kyle and poured my heart out just for him to say no thanks. I grabbed a hard seltzer drink and walked around the house. I said hi to some of my school friends and decided to see if anybody was outside. I walked up towards the glass window that had a view of the back yard and i saw two people sitting by the pool. I looked a little longer and realized it was kyle and ...... ladybird. ew. why are they talking but he isn't talking to me . I saw them laughing and pushing eachother in a flirty way and i got this jealous pain in my heart and tear building up in my eyes. I saw them getting up hand in hand and fast walking to the door. i hid behind a wall and looked at them through the corner of my eye. They went up stairs. oh no. you know what happened upstairs at parties. i thought me and him had something . I MET HIS DAD FOR CHRISTS SAKE. i followed them upstairs and saw them making out in the hallway. I decided to not hurt myself even more by watching this so i walked away and headed for the front door. * 3RD POV*
Jenna tried to stop arabella but when she saw ladybird and kyle walk downstairs together she knew why i was upset. Kyle looked at jenna with a questioning look on his face when he realized jenna was glaring at him. she rolled her eyes at kyle and ran out the door after arabella. Kyle connected the dots when he saw where jenny went and mentally cursed in his head. He walked over to bells house not knowing what he would say to her but before he could stop himself he's standing outside of her bedroom door. Jenny was comforting arabella while arabella was crying on her bed with her head in her hands. They both rose their heads as they heard the door open and saw kyle standing there.
* arabellas pov* I rose my head and saw kyle in my bedroom doorway. why the hell is he here. doesn't he know what he did to me . how he betrayed me and my feelings.I get we weren't dating but when you meet someone's dad and kiss a couple times you have to have something. I got up to go push him out of the door but he said " No , please i just want to talk to you" i look at him with a confused face and said " now you want to talk to me after you just sucked faces with a girl who literally has the word bird in her name" kyle rolled his eyes and said " she's not that bad and that's just her nick name" i went from sad to angry from the fact that he's standing up for her " oh so now you're defending her" i said crossing my arms and tilting my head. jenny was just standing here and whispered a quick 'imma go' and headed out the door. " why wouldn't i be" kyle said with the same amount of attitude. " because i thought..." i didn't finish the sentence because i didn't want to say i thought we were dating because i knew we weren't but i also didn't want to embarrass myself by saying i thought we had something. kyle looked up at me with pain in his eyes ready to say something but then it looked as if he got hit with reality or something and furrowed his eyebrows and said " thought what. that we had something. that i loved you. because i don't. i only love myself and nobody will change that." after he said that you could tell he regretted it but i didn't care if he regretted it. he still said it. he still felt that . he still ruined me. " get out" i said not making eye contact. " but-" kyle started saying " no get out" i said cutting him off and pushing him out of my bedroom. i slammed my door and locked it so he didn't try getting in again. As i sat down on my bed taking in everything that just happened i realized that All i felt was pain and hatred for a boy named kyle scheible. i got up and started throwing anything in my sight, clothes , bags , makeup, bottles , but no glass bc i knew i had to clean it up. after i got everything out of my system i laid down and just tried to forget everything rn and soon i fell into a deep , non kyle scheible sleep.
