Ethereal

Part 8

I stood on my porch and watched boxes getting loaded in the moving truck.
You were going away.
Moving away.
I stood there watching everything and could feel my heart ripping into shreds.
I could never imagine you anywhere else.
You belonged on this street.
I belonged on this street.
We belonged here together but now you were going away, taking a piece of me with you.

The moving truck took your belongings away.
Your mother's car drove you away.
I was still standing there.
Motionless.
Like I was some statue.
I did feel like a statue.
Vulnerable and fragile.
As if I would crumble to pieces if someone touched me.

Before getting in the car, you gave me one last look.
A sad smile.
I wanted to smile back but I couldn't.
That's when I realized I was holding my breath for a very long time.
No wonder I felt so uncomfortable.
You got in and drove away.
I kept on standing there.

The sun was below the horizon, approaching twilight.
I then sat down.
I kept looking at your house, now empty and desolate.
My insides felt so hollow and I felt nauseous.
That's when it hit me.
You were gone.
I was alone,
Again.

After that, I broke down.
I held my face in my hands and wailed.
I wanted you to come back and hold me, like you always would.
I just wanted you back nothing else.

Your house always felt like a home to me because mine was nowhere close to one.
Your father taught me how to ride a bike when mine was busy drowning in alcohol.
When no one from my family came for Family Day in school, your parents came and said they were my parents too.
They gave me the love I deserved but didn't get from my own blood.

I cried my eyes out while sitting in my porch.
No one was home as usual.
I didn't want to go inside but I didn't want to stay outside too.
So I went to your house.
I sat on your porch.
For a second it felt like you were still here.
It felt like you would open the door any moment, pulling me inside.
But you didn't.
You were gone.

I was left alone,
Again.