Carry on Wayward Son

18. Hold Me Now

[Despair]

(This episode broke me in a way that no other has. I cried even after the credits had rolled. I still get sad thinking about it.)

Sam and Dylan were supporting Jack as they rushed him into the map room and said, "All right, I got you."

Natalia and Azrael held the fussing twins. Natalia closed her eyes, hoping that Jack would survive. She couldn't lose Jack again.

"Ooh, here we go," Sam said as Natalia, Dean, Castiel and Azrael, the females both holding a toddler, followed. "Let's get you a seat."

Jack grunted as he was pushed down by the younger male Winchesters.

"Jack, deep breaths," Castiel instructed. "Just try to focus. Try to slow this down if you can."

Natalia glanced at Azrael. "Take Henry and Joanna and go."

Azrael nodded and left the room, holding a crying Joanna who cried, "Dack! Dack!"

"Dack!" Henry yelled, struggling to get to his brother, but Azrael held him tightly.

"Shh," Azrael cooed. "It'll be all right."

"What do we do?" Dean and Natalia asked. "What do we do?!"

"I don't know," Sam and Dylan admitted.

"You have to let me go," Jack told them "Just -- Just get me outside. I'll -- I'll try and get as far away as I can." His face crackled bright orange.

"No, Jack!" Castiel argued.

"No! Leave me! I can't stop this. I'm coming apart. I don't want to hurt you." His voice dropped to a broken whisper. "Don't let me hurt you."

"Hey, hey, we're not giving up on you, okay?" Dean said. "Um, magic, magic. One of Rowena's spells? Come on, we got to do something!"

Henry and Joanna, who'd managed to slip out of Azrael's arms ran in to see their big brother and each hugged a leg.

Jack smiled shakily. "Henry, Joanna, you two have to go."

Joanna gripped Jack's jeans and looked up at him.

Jack looked down at them. "Henry, Joanna, go with Rae, okay? I'll be fine."

Azrael took the twins and the two of them looked over her shoulder at Jack.

"I think you've done enough," Billie said, appearing, and Castiel stood. "We were so close."

"Chuck saw it coming," Dean replied angrily. "All of it -- your whole plan!"

"It was doomed," Sam and Dylan added.

"Because of you," Billie told them. "It was doomed because of you."

"You led Jack through his trials," Castiel said. "You know what's happening to him. You can stop this. Please." Jack breathed heavily and Natalia glared at Billie.

"I can't stop it." She waved her hand, turning Jack to face her as she walked up to him. "But there is something I can do." She placed a hand under Jack's chin, lifting his face up and stared at him a moment before he disappeared.

"What'd you do?" Dean and Natalia asked. "What did you do?"

THE EMPTY

Jack found himself in the Empty and called, "Billie?"

"Hey, kid," Empty called. "How'd you get in here?"

Jack groaned and continued breathing heavily.