I stood on the front porch, my shadow stretching queerly before me as I inserted the key into the lock and twisted it open with a faint click.
My heartbeat pounded like drums in my ears with every second that ticked on the clock. The wooden door creaked loudly against the floorboard as I pushed it open and tried not to flinch at the sound. A beam of sunlight seeped through the crack, illuminating the path as I locked the door behind me and padded across the empty kitchen.
The dimly lit corridor was quiet--no sounds, no anything--when I passed along. It was when I was back inside Kaitlyn's room that I felt my shoulders relax, but the thought still lingered in my mind even as I climbed up the bed and pulled the thick blanket to my chest.
Is it luck that they still haven't noticed me sneaking out for days now?
A digital beep broke me out of my thoughts, and I rested my other cheek on the pillow, turning to see the clock on the bedside table blinking green. It indicated the current time: 5:01 am.
I rolled flat to my back, my eyes drifting towards the ceiling enveloped in shadows. The calm silence surrounding me was a lullaby to my ears, and subconsciously, I found myself thinking back to the moment when I last felt this way.
-
"You're hogging the blanket." Her hushed laugh tickled my ear.
Still giddy with excitement, I stifled the giggle that left my lips and shuffled closer to the side of the bed, loosening the rest of the blanket for her to use. "Sorry," I whispered to her. "Are you sure we won't get caught?"
I felt the mattress dip down as she shuffled on the bed, her feet briefly tickling against mine. Her laughter died, then she replied in the same soft voice. "Don't be silly, of course not. And besides, it's not like what we're doing is illegal or something. There's nothing to worry about, trust me."
Her answer repeated itself in my head, and I let out a breath of relief. She was right. Sneaking out of my room and sleeping into hers wasn't even considered wrong, my parents just didn't like it.
It was proof enough that my mother didn't want us together, but it wouldn't stop us both. We were twins, and it was impossible to divide us. I would never let her anyway.
I stared at the ceiling as Kaitlyn's slender fingers intertwined with mine beneath the covers. My lips tugged into a smile, a warm fuzzy feeling spreading in my chest.
"I wish time will stop, so we can stay like this forever." Her voice floated towards my hearing.
That was when we made our first promise, one we knew we couldn't keep but did it anyway.
-
The bedroom door creaked open before I knew it, the loud echo breaking into my train of thoughts. It was then that I became aware of my surroundings; the golden rays streaming through the curtains, how my skin suddenly felt moist beneath my clothes, and the tear stains on my warm cheeks.
I pushed myself up from the mattress. How long have I been laying here, thinking about the memories we made together?
My father's head peeked through the narrow space. His sudden appearance made me look away, wiping the tears off my face before he could notice. "Are you awake?"
"Yeah," I murmured, even when I knew I didn't need to answer. I swung my legs over the edge of the bed and stood up, my vision tilting as my feet touched on the floor.
"Great, your mother and I will be waiting for you at the dining room." He smiled before shutting the door, leaving me alone in the room once more.
I took a deep breath and let the thoughts conquer my mind as I headed towards the bathroom. There was a lot to think about.
* * *
The heavy tension settled in as soon as I slid to my chair and held the silverware. I stole a look at my mother from across the table, a shiver running down my spine at the dejected look on her sunken face. She looks as if she aged years overnight.
I shifted my gaze away and tightened my grip, finishing my meal before I could lose my composure. My legs were shaking, nerves wracking my whole body as I shoved the unspoken words down my throat.
'Why are you being like this?!' I wanted to yell. 'Why do you act as if you care about her death? You told me that you didn't like her, how is it that things have drastically changed ever since? I'm your daughter. Why can't you see the pain I'm suffering doing all of this?'
"Are you alright?" Her timid voice brought me back to reality.
I didn't notice that my hands were shaking, causing the fork I'm holding to clink against the plate noisily. I forced myself to stop and my lips parted open, only for the words to die away at the tip of my tongue.
I'm not alright, and I'm not who you think I am. We're hiding the truth from you.
I felt like I was drowning underwater. Tears sprung to my eyes as I shook my head, my mind a bundle of thoughts growing into a destructive hurricane. Rowan's face flashed before my vision, and his lips formed words. Tell her, Kaylee. Tell her before it's too late.
"I..." My head spun.
There were voices speaking loudly in my head, and I couldn't bring myself to push them away. Are you sure you're ready to see her reaction? How she will act after knowing everything you have done? Do you really want to do this to yourself?
A palm rested on my shoulder, pulling me out of the sea I unknowingly jumped into. I blinked back the tears and my vision become clear, only for my stomach to drop when I realized my mother was already gone.
"I think you need to get some rest."
My nails dug into my skin as I stood up, shrugging my father's hand off me. I faced him with gritted teeth. "Where's Mother?"
"She's inside, resting as she should be. Your mother had been through a number of things, in case you didn't notice." I didn't know whether it was my imagination, but his eyes narrowed as if he was challenging me to say something about it.
I couldn't control my breathing, and I almost pushed him at the chest. "Father, why are you like this? Can't you see that she's suffering because of what we had done? This is messed up, and you're only making things worse!"
His fingers gripped my arm, and I flinched at the tone of his voice. It was time he showed his true colors. "Lower your voice, Kaylee. How many times do I need to tell you that you don't understand? Don't test me. Just please do what I told you to do without asking more questions."
I struggled against his grip, and the words left my lips before I knew it. "I hate you."
Time came into a standstill, and the world shook. No, I thought to myself. It was me who was shaking. Shaking from fear. I didn't mean it, I'm sorry.
I flinched when his touch left my arm, assuming that he would hit me, but his arm only dropped at his sides. There was an unreadable expression on his face when he spoke.
"You'll understand where I'm coming from, Kaylee. You will experience what love and sacrifice can do to you, in time. Much sooner than I thought, I'm sure. "
Then he was gone and what was left were his words repeating in my mind. It gave me the answer I didn't know I was looking for.
YOU ARE READING
3:00 am | on hold
General Fiction❝ It's hard to dream when you can't sleep and reality is a nightmare. ❞ Kaylee Thompson lost the ability to sleep the moment her twin sister died in a car crash. As their mother spirals deeper into grief and Kaylee's own grip on reality begins to sh...