Breaking My Silence

Dear "Mom",

You might have left,

But, your presence still lingers...

Your ghost is forever spectating,

Urging me to fail.

You might have left,

But, I can never forget

The pangs of hunger,

The unprovoked screams,

And my constant confusion.

You might have left,

But, I can still feel

The sting of

Your gentle slaps.

You might have left,

But, I remain

Haunted by

Your drunken nights;

The time you tried to die.

You might have left,

But, your insults

Still echo in my brain.

"Fat; annoying; untalented."

You might have left,

But, I still remember

Your desire for me to be

Another woman's child.

"I wish you weren't my daughter."

You might have left,

But, even now

You remain in denial.

"That didn't actually happen though, did it?"

You might have left,

But, my memory of you

Forever remains

Engraved in my mind;

Etched into my soul.

You might have left,

But, my innocence is long gone;

Your alcoholistic behaviors took care of that.

I was only nine...