I thought you were my forever

Chapter 5 (depression)

I wake up feeling the normal pain that I've gotten used to. I had thrown away our pictures and I put the ring somewhere...I actually don't remember. I look at the time. 8:30, I sigh . It's been the 5th night and day that I've been doing this. I have trouble sleeping and I wake up early. If I don't fall asleep, then I end up staying up, but then feeling tired during the day. I then get up out of bed, looked at the empty space left on the side of me. As I start to feel my eyes fill with tears, I go get into the shower. I think that it would make me feel better. 

*A little bit later*

I get out of the shower and I still feel the same. I stop myself in front of the foggy mirror, "Ew, what's happened to me? No wonder he didn't love me anymore. I don't know why people keep on telling me that I'm beautiful."Is what I think to myself.  I see very tired eyes with bags under them, a very skinny body, and a restless face that barely even smiles anymore. I get dressed, dried my hair, then opened up my lap top. "Hey Morgan! How are you?" My therapist says. When she takes a good look at me, she asks if I'm alright. "No, I'm not. Not at all. I haven't been sleeping well, eating well, and self esteem has lowered." She then looks at her notes..."Morgan, I am sorry to say, but you are suffering from depression." I nod not surprised. "Thanks for your time. Do I need any medicine?" She then looked out in distance to think for a moment. "I don't think so yet. Maybe if it gets worse> Well, I have another appointment for another patient. Bye Morgan, get well!" I fake smile as I wave bye. I close my laptop and sigh. I am laying in my now empty bed. Feeling so alone. I wish that I didn't feel like this, feel so helpless, alone, meaningless, ugly,ext. I am so damn depressed, I just wished that I had those pills now. I mean I knew that I had depression before I met Jacob, and when we were dating and married, I completely forgot about it all, but now that he's gone, the only person that I hold hands with is my depression.