Trust (Viewfinder) (HIATUS)

Dissapointment

The golden eyes refuse to see those blue eyes that now prickling with tears that threatens to fall. He look at anywhere, his desk, Kirishima and his surrounding but never at his lover at this moment. He scared of himself. He scared what he would do if he continue to look at his lover's eyes.

It will only prove his weaknesses again.

His lover is his weakness.

His kryptonite....

"Why Asami? You can't even look at me huh?" Akihito feel really flustered right now. He feel like he want to scream at this man. He want to yell at him... he want to do everything that can express his disappointment right now. How could Asami? How could him?

"I don't need to explain myself..." Again... he couldn't bring himself to look into Akihito's eyes. So... who is the coward now?

"Really Asami? Really? After all we gone through? You just can't put even a little bit trust in me huh? Is it really necessary to spy on me using my friend?"

He did really a big mistake this time. His insecurities was not meant to be tell to everyone. Not even a soul. He has trust issues... he always has this feeling that he will be never good enough for his kitten. Akihito is his everything... everyday he would doubt himslef... and thought that Akihito was better off without him. That's why... he need to make sure... he need to make sure...

Well maybe Kirishima is one of very few people that knew about his weaknesses... because of that his loyal secretary willing to that far such as seducing One of Akihito's friend to fulfill his whims.

At first he didn't mind for what methods that his secretary would do to obtain the objectives... but once he knew this was a big mistake, it is a little bit too late to retreat now.

"Kirishima? Is it fun? Is it fun to use Kou?" Akihito turn to Kirishima who doing his back to look monotone in front of his boss and young boss. He set out his tablet on the coffee table and look straight at Akihito. "It doesn't matter if the result came out good isn't?"

Plakkk! Asami sigh and look at his secretary. Even Akihito give a big slap to his face, kirishima still remains emotionless, the glasses flying nowhere and theres glowing red, and handprint on his left side.

"Pet if you assault my secretary-"

"Pet?" Cold voice from Akihito and that boy turn to him and glaring at him.

Damn.... his mouth...

"P-pet asami?" He watched as Akihito's body start to tremble... he heard sobbing from the boy. And the shock look of his secretary confirmed that Akihito is crying this time. As the boy turn his body to Asami.

He saw those beautiful blue eyes fills with pain. Hurt...

"Pet... bed warmer... slut... what else Asami?"

"No- I didn't meant to Akihi-"

He saw Akihito raised his hand, he decide to accept the blow since it his fault. His fault to degrading his lover... his fault that he hurt his lover with his words.

But the blow never came, except a gentle caress that hold his face. He look at Akihito, the boy smile at him like nothing. As if he already numb to the painful words.

Silent....

He never had to worry if his kitten mad or throwing him curses or anything... but silent Akihito was a bad news. That's mean, the photographer really disappointed with him.

"Asami... you know what? When we get hurts... the wounds will be pain... and then it will leaves the scar... but even the wounds get heal... the scar never leave.... that's why Asami... in the future, don't do this to someone you love... someone that choose to stand by your side... to so- someome that really- love you... like me." Akihito choked into his tears. He wiped aggressively on his sleeves.

Hoping that holding his own tears... like he holding his own last piece of pride.... pride of loving Asami... even its hurt... and always bring the venomous feelings to give up...

Maybe he will use this last piece of pride... that he always holding on to.

"To- to you Asami... it might be small matter or it never matter to you at all. But I'm doing my best... to have that ounce of value that show my equalities to you."

"To being called pet...."

Stop... that's not what I meant...

"To being called slut..."

Akihito! You're not slut! You're more than that!

"Bed warmer..."

No! You're wrong! You're wrong! You're my home! My home!

"Thorn in your side...."

Kitten... your're light to my darknesss...

"It hurts.... even I don't say it out loud. I remember.... always remember my own worth. Asami... maybe... maybe we never mean- meant to be with each other...I knew it all along actually..." a pathetic chuckle fills with sobs. He hardly try to not break down in front of Asami. But it's all fruitless now.

"I just being stubborn.... to stay. But now I seems to realize... that I never become your equal... never earn your trust... and Never being able to make you love me."

He grab Asami hand into his. He kiss the man's knuckle. Put it on his face and make the man he loved look at him... one last look... before he decide...

To be the one that put an end to all this madness.

Yes their relationship is a huge madness.

"Asami... it may be hurt... but it just only last for a while. For you... but for me... at least let me carry this scar forever... as reminder and also to remember our moments all this time. Because it's too precious... to be let go." Couple of tears falls when he closed his eyes...

Trying to remember what they have been through in the past. Both of them knew that one day, all of the good things they have... need to put an end. They knew sooner or latter one of them had to say goodbye.

And he decided... it will be him to bid the farewell.

"Goodbye Asami... I- I love you..." he tip toeing his toes to give the man one last kiss. As he expected, the man just stand still and doing nothing.

Deep in his heart, he hope that the man will stop him. But knowing how cold the man are.... he can just stop wishing for those right?

Akihito let go of Asami, and grabbed his bagpack. Before he make his leave. He turn and look at Kirishima that seems stunned by his last farewell.

Eyes widening to the fact Akihito just dumping his boss. He know it will be for real this time.

"And you Kirishima, I hope you'll regretted it... that you hurt Kou. What I said to Asami just now, goes to you too. Don't think even wounds already healing, the scars won't be the reminder. I just hope you rotted in hell Kirishima... what you have done are really disgusting...."

The boy that never wished ill for anyone just curses him like nothing. He notice the grudging and malice tone towards him.

He closed the door behind him. Leaning againts the door and try to calm his heart. He couldn't stop the tears from falling... he just need to brace himself that he need to be strong to get through this.

He grab tightly his bagpack strip, and walk the corridors with the heavy feelings. He love him... he love him so much that he fearlessly let himself fall even he knew he will be the who get hurt... the most painful fall that he knew will take long time to recover...

"Asami..." he call once again... under his breath... let he call the name in whisper...

Unknown to him...
A roared burst out in Asami's office and sounds of stuff falling and crashed right after akihito leave.