Don't go, please

Im here, i love you

I got my razor and took one of the blades out

My mind was completly blank

"Don't do it" my gut said

I had an erge to do it

I slowly dragged the razor accros my wrist

Tears were rolling down my face

I feel to the floor and rolled up into a ball and cryed

"AHHHH" I herd Ava scream when she opend the door

"What are you doing!" Zac screamed and shut the door behind him so the kids couldn't see

I didn't say anything i just cryed and looked down

"What have you done!" Zac yelled crying

He picked me up and my arm feel down to my side

My mind was a blank, I couldn't think it was just blank...

Zac layed me down onto my bed and I feel asleep

*When I awoke*

"Zac, Ava" I got up yelling

I ran down stairs and saw a note

"The kids are with me including Abby, we had to get out of the house. We will be home at 7:00"

I checked my phone

"It's 6:45" I said to myself and rubbed my hands on my face

I looked at my wrist and it had medichine and a bandage on it

I walked up stairs and took a shower and then looked at my self in the mirror

I am very pale, skinny, and I have very big bags under my eyes

"Im depressed" i said to myself and went back into bed and feel asleep

~2 hours later~

Zacs POV

I walked in with Abby in her car seat and Alex laying on my stroller

I walked up the stairs and chafed Abby and Alex into there pjs and put them into there beds

I went back out to the car to get Ava and brought her in

"Im going to go take a shower" Ava said frowning

"Okay sweety" I replied rubbig her cheek

She ran upstairs and took her shower

After that she got changed and went to bed

I then went upstairs and saw that Britney was still asleep, i had noticed she was very pale and had big bags under her eyes

"Come on babe wake up" i said softly shaking her

"What" she said and tears rolled out of her eyes

"Please as you can see im trying to sleep" Britney said a rolled over and feel asleep again

Brittney has been cutting herself for a while now but I just figured that out today, it's never really 'hot' in New York City so she always where's sweaters and I can never see them

She never eats anymore and whne she does its not food, it's a protein drink. She is so young, I feel so bad. I wish I knew how she felt

"Babe wake up now" i said as tears came down my face

She sat up and threw up onto the side of the bed wear the trash is and through up

"Stop it stop it!" I said crying

"I can't" she said and sat up and hugged me

As I hugged her she was so skinny I could feel her spine

"Come with me" i said whipping my tears away

"I can't walk" she said in a very raspy voice

I picked her up bridal style and walked into the bathroom and took her clothes off

"What are you doing" she asked closing her eyes

"I want you to see your self" i said

I helped her stand up and i put hr in front of the mirror

You could see her ribs and hip bones

"I look good" she said smiling

"No you don't! You look crazy! You need help" i said with tears coming down my face

"I mean my boobs are smaller but a look good" she said

" how much do you weigh" I asked

"93" she replied with her eyes closed

I cryed and squised her in my arms

"Why are you doing this to yourself" I asked her

"Im not doing anything" she replied tiredly

I cryed harder

I carried her back into our room and layed her down on our bed still naked and she didn't move

I crabbed some of her underwear wich were just blue , long sweat pants, a tye dy v neck t shirt, and a orangey pinkish sweatshirt and some socks

I told her to put it on and I helped her

"Where are we going" she said

I cryed and helped her up after she was finished dressing

I walked her down the stairs and sat her down in the couch

I grabbed my phone

"Yes hi, I need you to have the kids over for the next week please" i said crying into the phone

"Yes of course you can bring them over now" my neibor replied

I quickly ran upstairs and packed the kids bags and carried them out to the car

"Come on sweety" i said to Britney

She slowly stood up and feel

"Oh gosh" i said whipping my still rolling tears away

I helped her up and walked us out to the car and grabbed a blanket and say her down in the car and buckled her in and put the blanket on her

I drove over to the neibors and dropped them off at the neibors and started driving to a hospital

When we arrived she was so weak and it was hard for her to even open her pale eyes

I picked her up and walked into the hospital

Immeditaly doctors took her from me and I stood there crying and I feel to the ground crying

"Sir what's wrong" a nurse said helping me up

I told her what had been happening ever since Abby was born and how she dosnt eat and always throws up

I had to sit in the lobby for 3 hours and then a nurse came out

"Sit your wife is very ill, she's on stage 3 medication and she is on anti biopics and has an iv in her that is giving her food" the nurse said and whipped a tear that had rolled down her face

I sat there and cryed

~2 hours later~

"Would you like to come see her" the nurse asked helping me stand up

I slowly nodded and she guided me into her room and there she was

Laying there her cheek bones showing with a pale honey face

I sat next to her

"You didn't have to do this" she said restlessly

" yes I did" I simply replied

Brittney reached out her hand and i held it and she did a faint smile

"I love you babe" i said kissing her forhead

"Haaaa i l-l-ove you t-" she slowly said and a tear ran down her face

I looked down at her hand and it was skin and bones