We Survivors [Published Version]

10: Get Like That | Nadia

We followed Jake into a waiting room. Coby was stretched out on a couch, two puffed-up bags of microwave popcorn beside him. The TV was on, playing music from a DVD title sequence.

"Are you telling me this wasn't an emergency?" I whirled toward Jake. "Nothing's wrong?"

He grinned in that way that made crinkles appear at the corners of his eyes. "No," he said. "Just a surprise."

Zara slapped Jake's shoulder lightly, laughing. "You scared us half to death!"

I glared at him while trying to catch my breath. "You're the worst. Don't do that again."

"Okay, okay," he said, hands up in surrender. "But hey, welcome to a night at the movies."

"This is awesome!" Zara said. She was quicker to forgive than I.

Coby smiled. "Jake was telling me how Nadia missed going to the theater, so we thought it would be fun to set up our own theater here."

"This is so sweet of you guys!" Zara said, throwing her arms first around Jake, then Coby, as she flopped onto the couch next to him.

"Thanks," I said, giving Jake a small smile. "This means a lot."

He half-smiled back at me and sat on another couch. I wavered for a moment, then sat beside him. Zara tossed us a bag of popcorn and I opened it, relishing the familiar waft of butter-scented air warming my nose.

Coby clicked the remote and the title sequence began. I offered Jake the bag and he scooped out a few kernels of popcorn. "I found some DVDs in here," he said. "I thought you'd like this one."

The melancholy tones of Moon River played as a taxi pulled up, dropping Audrey Hepburn off at Tiffany's.

"I do," I said softly. "I love this movie. We could find more back at the mall and do this every night if we wanted to."

Jake's eyes were transfixed by the pearl-bedecked Holly Golightly, who was now eating her breakfast. "It's weird to see other people. Even just on TV."

"I know," I said. "I miss people. It's so great to hear other voices, see other faces. Even when..." I let my voice trail off.

We quickly became enthralled by the movie, watching in silence, buried in a mix of the plot and our own thoughts. We had to be halfway through before I noticed my eyes welling with tears. I blinked them away, but Jake must have noticed because when the credits rolled he asked if I'd like to go for a walk.

I shook my head. "No, I'm too tired to go outside."

"Just around the hospital. I want to show you something."

I agreed with a shrug. After I said good night to Zara and Coby, Jake led me to the hospital gift shop.

"There are so many books," I said, trying to sound happy. He'd taken me straight to the back wall of the shop, which was lined with bookshelves and magazine racks. It was sweet of him, but even books couldn't make me feel better at a time like this.

Only one thing could, but I'd told myself I'd quit that. I hadn't been strong enough to throw out the blade, though; it was still hidden in its own pocket of my pack.

"I thought you'd like it," he said, noticing my slumped shoulders and failed attempt at a smile. "But then I thought you'd like the movie too." His hands were in his pockets, and he kicked at the frame of one of the shelves.

"I did like it, Jake. It was sweet of you. I didn't mean to get upset. I started thinking about how all of the actors in the movie are gone, how everyone's gone, and I got... depressed." I took a deep breath. "I know it's ridiculous to still be sad about it at this point, but I can't help it sometimes."

"It's okay to be upset. The virus swept the rug out from under us."

"I wish I could get over it like all of you."

"We're not over it," Jake said, finally looking at me. "We're just dealing with it in different ways."

I bit my lip. "I guess so."

We wandered out of the gift shop after I'd grabbed a couple of novels and found some comfy chairs in a waiting area.

"My older brother," Jake said after we sat down. He ran his fingers through his hair before continuing. "Before the virus hit, he fought in the war. But after it was over, it was like... he never came back. He bottled it up and tried to act normal, but I could tell he wasn't the same. And then all of this happened, and I guess he..." Jake looked away from me, but I could see that his eyes were rimmed with tears. "He couldn't take it anymore."

He'd told me his brother was the last person he knew to die, but I'd assumed it was from the virus.

"I'm sorry." I placed my hand on his arm.

He wouldn't look at me, and his voice was hoarse when he continued. "All he left was a note that said, 'I'm sorry, Jake. For everything'."

My heart broke. I wouldn't have recovered from a note like that from one of my sisters. "I don't know what to say. That's horrible."

Jake shook his head. "You don't have to say anything. But there's something you can do."

"What?" I asked.

"Look, it's none of my business, but when we were in the city the other day," he said, pausing to clear his throat. "I noticed the scars on your arm."

My throat went dry and I hugged my arms around myself.

"Just, if you ever get like that, Nadia, like Ben—swear you'll tell me."

I nodded. "I would."

"I can't handle another note."

"I know. But that won't happen. I won't get like that," I said, with more confidence than I felt. At least, not again, I added privately. "No notes."

"Good," he said, nodding once. My heart felt feather-light in my chest. Being believed makes all the difference. Especially when you can't believe in yourself.