Lost in Worlds

Entering Hell

Chapter 5: The Night Sky

I love the night sky. The twinkles of light shining through the black pitt of its endless landscape. The stars that resemble light found deep in the darkness. That there is hope even when the darkness pushes down on you.

Moreover, how they eventually burst, that sometimes the pressure becomes too much and the light explodes, slowly fading into minute sparks and then nothing. Representing how vulnerable humans are and how easy it is for their positivity to be sucked out of their weak souls.

I love how I can star into its "eyes", the eyes being the starlight navigation system it provides, almost as if I am staring into its soul.

How my eyesight can trace the infinite vacuum and admire a child it formed. The craters that fill the child, the lack of life, the loneliness it feels despite the emerald and sapphire imperfect sphere it orbits. The loneliness that arises from never having spent time with its creator.

But how I can stare at that child and know somewhere, in some place, across the world, someone else is also staring through its bumps and edges and still finding a sense of companionship. That there is safety in numbers and friendship, found in those that are most burdened when brought together.

Mostly, I love the wisdom contrasted to the wickedness found in the total absence of light. The knowledge it holds, the weight it carries deep within and never shares, for fear of worrying and unintentionally hurting others.

I almost, almost, love the night more than her. The only thing that stands in the way of the night sky making it to the top of the list is her love found in helping people. She doesn't mean to, but she does. With oblivion and humility, she passes on her compassion and empathy to others, sometimes to the point where she loses it herself and must regain strength before continuing. It is that exquisiteness and loyalty that made me fall in love with the legend herself. The heart of gold. The warrior I know, Avery Rosella.

Until next time, Caleb.

Avery had no idea. She had no idea, Caleb was that...deep. That shattered yet healing. Healing because of her. The person she could now no longer handle, more than the Queen, more than the Creatures. Herself.

She read the words aloud, let them flow and constantly deepen the fist-sized hole replacing where her strongest organ once laid. The heart that cracked emotionally and escaped from her lifeless soul. She couldn't even say her name. Would Caleb be able to, considering what had happened? Would he hate her? Would he forgive like the beautiful soul he is?

Regardless, Avery couldn't help but feel she barely knew Caleb at all, and that this diary revealed more than she had ever known about him in a year. Avery would have cried, would have screamed in agony a million tsunamis, were it not for the next titled chapter of Caleb's diary.

Chapter 6: I Write

For a part of my life, I had no way of dealing with it. Dealing with the issues I had trouble sharing. The issues I couldn't stomach to say out loud. The issues that haunted me and scorned at my sobs. So at first, I voiced these issues in my mind, let them fill the gaping space found where the fluid flanking of my brain should have been. But it didn't suffice, these issues were insatiable. Until that day, that fateful day when everything changed. The day I met Avery.

I recall it so clearly, mispronouncing her name. 'Avery Rosella' she had said. 'Avelry Rafaela' I had said. Hearing her laugh for the first time, watching her smile light up my day.

Seeing us grow from acquaintances to friends to almost lovers. Then the day that I fell in love when she sang for me. Sang Edelweiss, a song she sang full of love, full of laughter, full of light. Most importantly, hope. The song full of hope. Hope that I so desperately needed and used soon after to confess my feelings, on a school trip home.