top 10 after moments

6

chapter 285

dinner

We sit in silence while we wait to place our orders. The waiter is young college kid, he's nervous and he has some sort of eye contact issue. He doesn't seem to want to look into mine, what an asshole.

Tessa orders something that I've never heard of and I order the first thing I see on the menu that I have. A pregnant woman is seated at the table next to us and I watch Tessa stare at the woman for just a beat too long.

"Hey," I clear my throat to get her attention. "I don't know if you even remember what I said last night but if you do, I'm sorry. When I said I didn't want a baby with you, i just meant I don't want kids at all but who knows," my heart begins to pound against my ribs, "maybe one day or something."

I can't believe I just said that and by Tessa's expression, she can't either. Her mouth is wide open and her hand in the air, holding her glass of water.

"What?" She blinks. "What did you just say?"

Why did I say that? I mean, I meant it. I think. I could maybe think about it. I don't like kids or babies or teenagers but then again, I don't like adults either. I pretty much only like Tessa, so maybe a little version of her wouldn't be so bad?

"I'm just saying, maybe it wouldn't be so bad?" I shurg, hiding the panic inside of me. Her mouth is still open. I'm begging to think that I should lean across and hold her jaw for her.

"Obviously not anytime soon. I'm no idiot. I know you have to finish college and all that shit." I add.

"But you.." I've shocked her out of words apparently.

"I know what I said before, but I also never dated anyone, never loved anyone, never gave a shit about anyone, so I think this could be like that. I think after some time, I could change my mind. If you'll give me the chance?"

I allow her a few seconds to collect herself but she just sits there, mouth open, eyes wide.

"I still have work to do, you still don't trust me, I know that. We have college to finish and I still have to convince you to marry me first." I ramble. "Not that we have to be married first, I'm no gentleman." A nervous laugh leaves my mouth and Tessa finally seems to snap back into reality.

"We couldn't," she says, all color drained from her face.

"We could."

"No-"

I hold my hand up to keep her quiet. "We could though, I love you and I want a life with you. I don't give a shit if you're young and I'm young and I'm wrong for you and you're too right for me, I fucking love you and I know I've made mistakes," I run my hand over my hair.

...

"Harry, I can't believe you're saying all of this." She says, leaning in, her voice a whisper. "I.. it's everything I wanted." Her eyes fill with tears. happy tears, I hope.

"But," she begins. "we can't have children together. We aren't even-"

"I know," I can't help but interrupt her. "I know you haven't forgiven me yet, I will be patient, I swear it, I won't be too pushy. I just want you to know that I can be who you need, I can give you what you want, and not only because you want it, but because I want it too."