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chapter 284

the night Harry came to Seattle

"Tessa!" I call her name as I walk into the bathroom across the hall. I keep my eyes closed as I turn the light on. Nothing.

My breath is released in heavy pant and I move to the next room. Where the fuck is she?

"Tess!" I yell again, louder this time.

After searching nearly the entire fucking mansion, I can barely breathe. Where is she? The only rooms left are Vance's bedroom and a locked room upstairs. I'm not sure if I want to open that door..

I'll check the pation and yard and if she's not there, I have no fucking clue what I will do.

"Theresa! Where the hell are you? This isn't funny, I swear-" I stop yelling as I take in the curled up ball on the lounge chair. Her knees are tucked up to her stomach and her arms are wrapped around her chest as if she fell asleep while trying to hold herself together.

All my anger is dissolved when I kneel down beside her. I push her blonde hair away from her face and will myself not burst into fucking hysterics now that I know she's okay. Fuck, I was so worried about her.

With my pulse racing, I lean into her and run my thumb along her bottom lip. I don't know why I did that actually, it just sort of happened But I sure as hell don't regret it when her eyes flutter open and she groans.

"Why are you outside?" I ask my voice lound and strained.

...

"Harry?" She sits up, holding her neck as if her head might fall off.

"Yes, Harry." I clarify. She squints in the dark and rubs her neck. When she moved to stand, an empty bottle of wine falls to the concrete patio and cracks in half.

"Sorry," she apologizes, bending down to try and pick up the broken galss. I gently push her hand away and wrap my fingers around hers.

"Don't touch that. I'll get it later. Let's get inside."

...

"Is that about Kimberly and Vance?" I ask. "Because if it is, you shouldn't want what they have. He's a liar and cheater and-" I stop before finishing the sentence.

"He loves her. So much though." Tessa slurs. Her fingers trace pattenrns against the concrete under her.

"I love you more." I say without thinking.

My words have the opposite effect than I hoped and Tessa whimpers. Literally whimpers, and wraps her arms around her knees.

"It's true. I do."

"You only love me sometimes." She say, her tone sounds as if it's the most true thing in the world. It's not, it couldn't be more false.

"Bullshit. You know that's not true."

"It feels that way." She whimpers, looking toward the sea. I wish it was daylight so the view could possibly help soothe her, since I'm obviously not doing a good job at that.

"I know." I agree. It's true, I can admit it now.

"You'll love someone all the time, later."

What?

"What are you talking about?"

"The next time, you'll love her all the time."

In this moment, even if I think back to this exact moment fifty years from now, I know that I will remember the sharp pain that accompanied her words. The feeling is overwhelming and it's so obvious, never been more obvious, that she has given up on me. On us.

"There isn't a next time!" I can't help the way my voice is raising, the way my blood is burning just beneath the surface, threatening to rip me open right here on this damn patio.

"There is. I'm you Anne."

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