My Possessive Sensei

Notes

Um so hello guys, I think it's been almost a year since I updated... I'm so sorry.
I know this is very unfair for those readers that await my updates the most, and I owe you guys my explanation as to why i haven't been updating.

(P.S. This note can be categorized as ranting 🤣 I'm really sorry, it's fine to skip it)

Honestly, I really love writing. I've always been a vivid reader and I feel challenged whenever i found good books, that's why I started to learn writing. But writing is not my priority as of now.

I am currently a uni sophomore. The whole purpose of my hiatus initially was because I was channeling all my time to study to apply to my dream institute technology, which fortunately I got in. As soon as I started my first semester, I was taken aback by how advanced and hard its pace was. I was to choose my major in my 3rd semester which would be decided by the accumulation of my GPAs of the 1st and 2nd semester. i was aiming for aerospace engineering, just recently received the acceptance notice this month. yes, I've got my dream major :D and now in my long-awaited holiday.

Even now with covid quarantine, I still had never-ending mountains of works and exams tailing me. we were not allowed to use autoCAD in engineering drawing practicum in my 2nd semester, I'd gotta draw traditionally a mechanical assembly drawing in A3 paper every week which was so freaking TIRING as it took 4 hours minimum to finish one. I had class in weekends. And while it was already ramadhan, I still had three exams in a week. Calc and statics in one week, what the heck.

Secondly, I'm no genius and I admit that it's hard juggling between fast-paced curriculum and my students activities. I play piano in the orchestra unit that holds more than 3 concerts a year, and I cant miss any chances of playing concerts. It takes times to memorise and practice the partitions.

Thirdly, I'm in a scholarship that requires me the minimum GPA of 3.25 :") I know it's objectively not that high but it ain't that easy to achieve high GPAs without working hard in my campus. I have to participate in many programs and activities to please the scholarship. even now in holidays i still have mentoring and assignments to do, they're exciting but taking time as well.

Fourthly, I deal with numbers, math and stuff daily; i felt like it degrades the quality of my writing. Most of my friends actually complained that I'm too logic and unsympathetic, or dense you could say. Enrolling my uni doesn't help me much to develop my emotional intelligence. My mentor from a self-leading program by my scholarship also told me that I rely too much on my logic and that I suck at understanding people's emotions.

Then I realise this is most likely the cause of my writing block. I don't feel like I portray the characterization of the characters in my stories very well. All the interactions written are based on logical thinking as I don't have much experience in romance myself (more like NONEXISTENT lmaoo). Then my perfectionist ass just decided that "oh man my book sucks I better wait till my skill heightens" which idek when it will be lmao. its nonsense but i cant help thinking it.

Lastly, I don't have much confidence in myself. My books have many typos, bad characterizations, and lack of vocabularies. My anxiety sometimes doesnt let me write and I end up procrastinating. I mean, I write anonymously and it's not like you guys know me irl but I still feel uncomfortable sometimes, I'm really sorry. I read all your comments that I seldom reply because my awkward, introverted self, but pls know that they all encourage and motivate me so much to update. I'm very thankful for those feedbacks and it really hurts my heart when I cant reply to those who ask for more updates.

I deeply apologize for my hiatus. It's still indefinite answer whether I can finish the books or not but please note that I AM still writing.

Thank you very much for those lovely readers who are willing to give me votes and comments ♡ I will try my very best to give you best updates on the future. 

i will try to finish this book first, then continue with the others.