How Cruel Life Is | Iwaoi

Is This What Home Means?

Oikawa's POV

"Tadaima" Y/N and I said in unison
" Okaeri" Mom replied " Dinner's ready, you must be hungry" Mom said sitting down at dining table.

Y/N and I sat across from mom. "Itadakimasu" We all said in unison.

Dinner was alright we talked about the usual, how our day was, and other stuff.

"Tooru, did you decide on what course you'll take in college?" Mom asked, I was expecting her to ask, I've been avoiding that question  " Mom I already told you I'm going to continue volleyball" I said " Tooru, you're not gonna get paid enough,  I only want what's best for you" mom said.

" whats best for me!?!" I said getting mad " I Love Volleyball I Can't Just Give It Up!" I said putting down my chopsticks " Tooru, don't you dare raise your voice at me" mom said.

" why can't you be like Y/N" mom whispered mostly to her self but I could still hear her loud and clear,
" why can't I be like my sister!?!" I said slamming my hands on the table " I didn't mean it like that" mom tried to reason " you did mom, if you like her that much then why don't you go with her to C/N" I said walking away from the dining table and in to my room.

I closed my door locking it. I slid against the door, as tears streamed down my face. I'm not good enough

Y/N's POV

" I'm so sorry about that" Mom said looking my way " it's fine Mom" I said
" Tooru might change his mind, don't stress over it to much Mom" I said standing up and collecting the dishes.

I placed the dishes on the sink and made my way to my room, walking pass Tooru's room.

Oikawa's POV

I stood up and took of my clothes left in boxers, I put on a shirt and sat down on my bed.

I sat down on my bed tracing the scars on my thighs. The scars from the razor I used to cut when I just wanted to let go of all the pains.

I started to cry again.

She has always been better than me.
Y/N this Y/N that, when will there be a day where they talk about me. Hearing I'm not good enough hurts, and even if it isn't the first time it still hurts, the pain never seemed to end.

" Wow Y/N, you're so smart" " wow you're going to be a figure skater?" " You'll be the best" " I wish my daughter was like you when she was your age" " M/N, your daughter is so behave" " M/N you're so lucky, to have Y/N" " I know right she's the best" my mom and her friends talked.

I was in her shadow, no one appreciated me, no one cares, Y/N left me here all alone in a heartbeat.

The moment she heard she got a scholarship in C/N, she said yes with no questions.

I knew she loves me, buy I guess somethings are just more important.

" Who are you again?" My mom's friend ask finally realizing I was there " he's my son" mom said not sparing me a glance. " Are you like your sister?" Mom's friend asked "no, he's the total opposite" mom said " he doesn't talk much, he doesn't smile much" " he's nothing like his sister"

I remember hearing those words, the day I learned how cruel life is, how painful it can be.

After that day I started to talk more, fake a smile, be charming, make lots of friends, started studying more, started to play sports.

The day I found my love for volleyball, I can never forget that day.

If I want everyone to  like me I should be charming, beautiful, smart and athletic. I should be a know it all but don't go overboard. But they still choose Y/N , no matter what I did it's Y/N.

The pain didn't stop, it kept coming and coming, It wouldn't stop.

I stood up and walked into the bathroom in my room, I opened a drawer and took the razor out.

I sat down on the floor. As I ran the razor down my thighs, making a deep cut. I watched the blood run down.

' why can't you be like your sister?'
'  you're sister got a scholarship ' ' why can't you be smart like your sister'
' your sister is going to med school'
' how about you?' ' I raised you under the same roof, how can you be so different'

I cleaned the cuts up and wrapped my thighs with a bandage. I cleaned up the bathroom.

I stepped out of the bathroom, I turned of the lights and laid on my bed. I stared up at ceiling as I fell asleep.

I'm not her, but they can't see that, why can't I just be me?