The Sign for Love

Chapter Nine: PLS

Merry Christmas! Beware of Asher's swearing! Enjoy!

Chapter Nine

Asher’s POV

            Standing on the diamond I look down at the baseball in my hand and roll it around feeling it stitching. Looking down at the ball in my hand I toss it into the air and catch it again. Then, I look up and see my fellow team mates standing around the field with their balls and bats. I reach up and adjust my hat. The sweat drips off my face as I pull my arm back and bringing my leg up preparing for a pitch. As I go forward, I release the ball from my hand sending it straight into my catcher’s hand. All of the sudden my legs begin to burn as if they are on fire. I feel like someone is cutting them off with a jagged, rusty saw.

            My eyes shot wide open as I reach down grabbing the top of my horrible aching legs. The pain is horrid! My stomach twists and my hand tightens into a fist on my blanket and I yank it off of my legs. My eyes blur over with tears from the pain. I can see my legs to my feet. They are covered in blood causing a scream to tear from my throat. I squeeze my eyes shut and reopen them only to find my stumps of legs this time. Gently I touch the area where my legs end. I howl from the pain that is radiating from where my legs use to be. Reaching to the side of my bed I press the help button as the pain continues.

            A nurse rushes through the door and over to my bed side. “Asher, are you okay? What is wrong?” She asks looking at all my monitors and over my body.

            “My legs!” I say through gritted teeth gesturing to my legs.

            Dr. Pine rushes in and over to me. The nurse says something to her which I cannot hear because my focus is on the fire in my legs. How can there be pain there? My legs aren’t even there anymore? How in the hell can I still be in fucking pain? This makes no sense!

            “Okay Asher, I need you to focus on me,” Dr. Pine says leaning in my face. “Come on focus Asher,” she says smoothly. Taking a few breathes I lock my eyes onto her face. “Listen to me. The pain you are feeling is in your head. You need to understand your legs are no longer there. They cannot hurt you anymore,” she says to me slowly. I feel the fire weaken a little. “Now, look down at your legs.” I obey. “Do you see the entire legs?” I nod my head with teary eyes. “Okay, listen they are not there. I will prove it to you okay?” she assures me in a calming voice. She shows me a huge ass fucking needle!

            My eyes grow. What the hell is she going to do with that? I watch as she moves it quickly towards the lower half of my legs. I squeeze my eyes shut waiting for the pain from the stab, only for it to never appear. Slowly I open my eyes, as all the pain and suffering that I have been going through melts away. I look down to find half my legs again and the large needle sticking out of the bed below my knees.

            “You’re okay Asher,” she says to me, smiling softly. The nurse collects the needle.

            “What the fuck was that?” I asked bewildered. How could I just suffer through unimaginable pain in an area that I no longer have?

            Dr. Pine sits down on my bed side gently and takes my hand into hers. “It’s called Phantom Limb Syndrome. This is where your senses and brain make a mistake and act as if the limb in your case your legs are still there. Most often the feeling sensed is pain. There are ways to help you learn to prevent it. But it will take time. Not everyone experiences it and I am sorry that you are Asher. If you have any questions feel free to ask,” she says squeezing my hand and gives me a calming smile.

            “Can I just be alone?” I ask trying to wrap my head around all of this.

            “Yes, of course. But if you need anything feel free to call for a nurse or me,” she says standing up and picking up her clipboard from the table leaving the room. I guess the nurse left already. I must have missed it while I was listening.

            Using my arms I push my upper body up to look down at what’s left of my legs. I reach out and run my hand over the white gull covered ends. “You guys need to get with the game. You aren’t there no more. So stop causing my trouble,” I say to my legs. Staring at them is like looking back you everything I lost. In away my leg were my everything.

            My legs made me a great athlete and kept me fit. Being a great athlete made me popular, which got me friends and babes. Without my legs I lose all that. Now all I am is a washed up ball player, a disappointment to my family, and useless to everyone else. Seriously when’s the last time the guy in a wheel chair scored a smoken hot girl?

            Who would ever want to marry me now? Not that I planned to ever marry someone but still. Lowering my body back onto the bed I sigh. Is this the life I made for myself? One stupid mistake and everything is different.

            Looking around my room I see the lack of cards and get well wishes or even people at all. Was I really such an ass hole no one cares to visit me? Probably. What about my friends? Where are those fuckers when I need them? I guess Tracy Lawrence was right when he said “You find out who your friends are”.

            My friends list is actually pretty damn short. Real friends aren’t just there when you’re on top of the world they are there when you have nothing too. Right now I have nothing. I never thought I’d ever think this but maybe I didn’t make the right choices. Maybe I wasn’t perfect. I have fallen a few pegs for sure.

           

 Short? Yes i know.

Haven't updated in forever? i know that to.

I am a terrible writer? yup know that as well!

But i promise i will do better!!! Thank you to those who have stuck with me! M

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