KOTLC one-shots -HIATUS

The Planting

Fitz's POV

She's dead.
She's dead.
She's dead.

These were the thoughts that have plagued my head since this morning.

He's dead.
He's dead.
He's dead.

I can't believe I let this happen. I let Sophie get kidnapped. I let Dex go find her in the cave. I let them both die.

The guilt is breaking me. I can feel it chipping my sanity away, piece. By. Piece. The darkness is tearing me away. It's breaking me. Shredding me. Killing me. It won't stop until there's nothing left to kill.

I'm at the back of the line, waiting for my turn to part with Sophie and Dex. I can make out Edaline's petite figure, being embraced by Grady. Next to them is Juline, crumpled in Kesler's arms, breaking. That's the simple word to describe what everyone here is feeling. They're all breaking. I'm breaking. No. I'm already broken.

She's dead.
She's dead.
She's dead.

As the line starts moving once more, I can't hold on to my tears anymore. I let them fall freely. I look to my left, where I know Biana is, though I can't see her. Her invisible figure grabs hold of my hand, and squeezes tightly. I squeeze her hand back, letting her know I'm here for her without actually saying anything.

I can see the front of the line clearly now, and sob even harder once I see the tree. Her tree. It's small, though strong, with twisted bark. Yellow leaves cover the strong branches. I see small teal berries covering any open space, and give a slight smile, filled with grief. It wasn't a surprise that teal was a part of it, considering it was her favorite color.

She's dead.
She's dead.
She's dead.

Dex's tree was very different. His bark was a light brown, thicker than hers, but somehow didn't stand straight. Light red covered the tree in flowers, with a pink-ombré effect. Periwinkle leaves peaked out from the flower overload. This mixture would have looked odd for someone else, but it fit Dex perfectly.

He's dead.
He's dead.
He's dead.

Now that I'm at the front of the line, I can see both trees fully. They lean into each other, many branches intertwined. Dex's tree leaned into hers, and vice versa. It looked like they were embracing one another.

Right before it's our turn to say goodbye, I look behind me where my dad is. He's holding my mom while she sobs, and tries to appear strong for her, but I can see through it. He's breaking. He's being torn apart just as I am.

I look forward again, tightening my grip on Biana's hand, and walk a few steps forward. I kneel at Sophie's tree, and slip something out of my pocket. I pulled out a note for her, that I had written 'I'm sorry I failed you. I love you,' inside. I dug a little hole in the dirt next to her tree, and placed the bottle with the note inside, covering it up once more with dirt. Then I do something strictly forbidden. I scream. I scream with all the heartbreak and anguish inside me. I wrap my arms around her sturdy bark, and cry into it, letting it soak up my tears.

I stay there for as long as I can, not caring if anyone else was waiting on me. I refuse to let go. I can't. I can't leave her. I can't leave him. It's all my fault.

Minutes pass, though they felt like hours. My dad tries to pull me from the tree, but it's no use. I refuse to leave. I can't. I just can't. All I can think is she's dead, she's dead, she's dead. My dad comes back again with a vile filled with liquid in his hands. He shoves the liquid down my throat, and I'm forced to swallow. As I feel my eyelids droop, I whisper to Sophie's tree, "I'm sorry."

*****

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