Ice Queen

Chapter 26 ~ "Tell me"

Nate

I'm so bored. What am I going to do when Sasha finally does go home? I'm so used to her being here all the time it's like I don't even know what to do anymore when she's not around. 

I really hope her thing tonight went really well with Nik. I was surprised he was leaving me alone at practices considering I knew how unhappy he was about mine and Sasha's relationship. Was relationship even the right word? I know she's trying to work out her family stuff right now and she wants to give me time to process the loss of Sabrina and Jake. But I just want her to be with me, I want her around all the time. 

Does she want that to or is she just content in this odd middle ground? I didn't want to push this if she was dealing with too many things. I also didn't want to pressure her into feeling like she needed to make up her mind. I'll always be here for Sasha, no matter what.

I just wanted the chance to take her out on a date, to kiss her and not feel so guilty, to tell somebody that she was my girlfriend. I wasn't sure what was wrong with me but I just couldn't function properly anymore. All of my thoughts were consumed by Sasha, everything I did I worried about her and if she was alright. But it didn't feel like a chore anymore, the way it did with Sabrina. It felt like something I wanted to do now instead, I felt happy to be with her. 

The other thing I was mildly concerned about was the fact that I didn't know where we stood intimacy wise. I knew it was a sure bet she hadn't been with anyone before me, so most likely the thought of all of that made her particularly uncomfortable. I just do what I know she's comfortable with, I try not to grab her or try to take her clothes off. I loved what we had this far, but I wanted so much more than that with Sasha.

I was just scared I'd ruin things between us, the flow would be destroyed if we had to have a serious conversation about where we stood. But at the same time, I wanted to know what she wanted, how she felt about all of this stuff.

Just then I hear the door open downstairs, followed by the lock twisting shut, shoes coming off and footsteps upstairs.

"Hey Nathan." She says quietly walking into my room and shutting the door.

"Hey Sash." I say quietly and she smiles walking over to the bed. "How was your thing? How was Nik."

"Good, it all went really well. He seems to be relaxing about you and me." She says and then climbs on top of me. "So that's good." She whispers leaning down closer. "I missed you." She says quietly giving me a quick kiss. She then goes in for a longer one and I'm almost surprised. It wasn't really like Sasha to be this way, the only time I'd seen her like this was last week, when she pulled her top off and let me see her.

I won't ever forget it. She was absolutely stunning, Sasha's beautiful. She has an athletic physique but she's still got these fantastic curves, abs and of course, that heart-shaped birthmark. 

I sit up with her keeping my hands on her back when I feel her grab hold of my shirt and pull it off my body. Then I feel her small hands moving over my back, nails lightly grazing my skin. She then moves to her own sweater pulling it over her head leaving her in just a bra.

"Sash-" I start but she cuts me off by pulling me back and getting even closer to me. Then I feel her grab my belt loops and I clear my throat. 

I had yet to see this side of Sasha, the pushy side. She never instigated anything drastic, I almost had to wonder why she was doing this?

"Sash." I say again and she runs her hands through my hair and kisses the side of my neck. "Sasha." I repeat more firmly, holding her face in my hands. "What's going on?"