Ice Queen

Chapter 41 ~ "This is what I want"

Sasha

"Please welcome Miss Sasha Petrov to the ice for her main program." I hear boom over the loud speaker, and I skate out confidently into the middle of the rink.

I forgot how much I missed this, I loved performing and showing off my technique. It always made all those long, endless nights at the rink feel worth it. I look out into the dark crowd, seeing the lit up rink all around me. 

Kate had gone with me and picked out a wonderful new costume for me to wear. It was pale blue, showed off my back, my legs, my arms. Kate was of the opinion that costumes that hid your arms were like an automatic deduction of points. Judges wanted to see your arms and their positioning. 

My music starts and I instantly feel it, there's a beautiful melody to it now, it's not sad but instead it's uplifting. I start my jumps and my turns seeing a perfect triple Lutz followed by a triple toe. I forgot how much fun it was to do a jump on the ice.

I forgot why I really loved skating at all. I felt beautiful when I skated, poised, mature, strong, confident, the list goes on. I felt unstoppable now, I'd made this routine with Johnathan who was amazing at helping me stand out and push boundaries. Kate polished it, added moments where I could be artistic.

At the end I hear overwhelming applause and I nearly collapse on the ice knowing I'd skated clean. It was a beautiful moment, I watch roses getting tossed out onto the ice and I nearly cry when I see Nate close by holding a full bouquet. 

This was the feeling I craved, an endorphin rush so strong it could knock you off your feet. It was a feeling I only seemed to get through skating, nothing else. I could feel myself smiling knowing I'd just accomplished a life-long dream, I had my Olympic tryout.

Suddenly the universe collapses around me, and I snap my eyes open. It was a dream. I look up seeing my celling and I sit up, straight as an arrow.

"Baby, what is it?" I hear someone mumble and look to see Nate in the bed beside me.

"I know what I need to do." I say and get up out of bed.

"Sash, it's only six a.m. Come back to bed." He groans and I shake my head, running over to my desk and finding a piece of paper. Before I forget I write out as many of the routine steps as I can remember. I then take note of the costume I was wearing and make an awful sketch of it beside my description. 

"There." I say, blowing out a tense breath. "This is it."

"What is it?" He asks sitting up and rubbing his eyes. I take the piece of paper over to him and he stops mid-yawn. 

"I just dreamt this.....crazy dream about Nationals. It was great and I felt so happy, I wrote down the routine I did in my dream." I tell him and he nods.

"And this is your costume?" He asks and I nod.

"Yeah." I say. "This is a sign!"

"Wow." He says furrowing his eyebrows. "This is a pretty decent routine." He looks over the sheet sounding impressed and I nod.

"I need to go talk to my dad." I say and walk over getting an outfit out of my closet.

"Is he awake?" He asks and I laugh.

"If I know dad, he's downstairs lifting weights." I tell him, yanking my nightgown over my head.

"So you want to go back." He confirms, he doesn't sound angry or upset about it. He actually sounds hopeful.

"Yeah, it's like this feeling I can't shake. I have to be doing that again, there's nothing else like it." I say pulling on my clothes. "Well aside from you."