Ice Queen

Chapter 44 ~ "I want you near me"

Nate

Today is Thursday and I'm convinced Sasha's about to pass out. She's been running herself in circles doing a million different things. She's trying to make space for too many things and people right now and it's driving her crazy.

It's like she doesn't even have time to properly digest anything before the next thing happens. She looks exhausted now as we drive to her house, she promised me we could hang out this afternoon because it's the only free time she's had aside from lunches together. 

She had a long physio session on Tuesday, followed by a trip to the gym. She had a morning practice that day and this morning as well, she's got school work, her family therapy sessions, I know all of this stuff with Micheal is weighing in the back of her mind and I know she wants to spend time with me on top of all of her other practices.

We haven't seen each other much and I know it bothers her and me. But I know, at the end of the day, that she's doing the right thing. Monday night when I saw her on the ice, I knew she was happy to be back. Sasha was amazing, hadn't lost her touch at all and she looked so excited when I watched her skate.

She told me she'd given Kate and Johnathan her half-scribbled-down routine and they tweaked it slightly. Now it was amazing, as Sasha claimed and for the first time she was pushing herself because she wanted to, not because someone was forcing her to.

I look over and see her start to nod off a bit as I drive up her street. "Baby." I say quietly, and she nods. "Do you want me to just let you go in and sleep?"

"No." She mumbles, opening her eyes. "Come in with me, I want you near me."

She always made me smile. When she was half-asleep she'd say the cutest things to me, they were vulnerable and let me know how much she really loved me. 

"If you're sure." I say and she nods.

"I want to talk to you, I haven't been able to spend much time with you this week." She says quietly and I nod. I open my door and walk around to her side, I pick her up and her arms and legs wrap around me. I just smile and lock my car, walking up to her house.

"My key's in my back pocket." She whispers. "You can put me down if it's easier."

"Don't be ridiculous." I tell her and she laughs. I fish it out of her pocket and unlock her house, closing the door behind us. I take her upstairs and bring her to her room, laying her down on her bed. I walk back and close her door, pulling off my shoes and jacket. 

"Nathan." She says quietly and I turn back. "Come back." I laugh and throw my backpack off to one side of her room, as she kicks off her own shoes and tosses her bag away with her jacket. 

I slide into bed next to her and she shuffles over, pulling me closer. I slide my fingers into her hair and she rests a hand under my shirt on my bare chest.

"Is everything alright?" I ask quietly and she nods.

"Yeah, I just want to be near you." She says quietly. "I want you to know that......skating isn't making me miserable, incase that's what you were thinking." 

"I was wondering about that." I admit sheepishly and she smiles.

"To be honest, I missed it." She says quietly and I nod. "It's part of who I am, and now that dad's not bringing me down....it's amazing. What's making me miserable is that it's eating up all the free time I could be spending with you." I run my hands over her back and kiss her forehead, taking that in.

"I know it's no fun." I tell her and she nods. "But it just makes the time we can get together really special. This is something we probably took for granted a lot." I remind her, gesturing to our position in bed. "Sasha you going after what you want doesn't make me love you any less."