Hopelessly Human

32. Ready Aim Fire

[Survival of the Fittest]

(Not classic rock, but I think this fits.)

In the car, Sam said, "All right. Exit's in three miles."

Dean frowned. "I still say this is a bad idea."

Natalia nodded. "Yeah. This is a terrible idea. Might be one of our worst."

Sam looked between them. "Dean, Nat, it was your idea, and it was the best one either of us had."

"We said it as a joke," Dean said.

"It was a bad joke -- decent idea," Dylan said.

Dean glanced at him. "Yeah, only because we got no magic spell, no book -- nothing on how to find a freakin' righteous bone."

"We can call Castiel or Azrael again," Sam suggested.

"Dude, on my car, he showed up naked... covered in bees."

Natalia shuddered. "Something I never want to see again."

Sam looked at them unsympathetically. "Yeah, I'm not really sorry I missed that."

A man spoke on the radio. "... The price of stock hit an all-time high following Roman's acquisition of Sucrocorp. I say Roman's a buy."

A woman answered. "Got to disagree with you there. I'm gonna call him a "wait and watch"."

"Come on, Lawshe. You're killing me."

"Hear me out. This is a new sector for Roman."

"That's right. He's holed up at Sucrocorp headquarters right now."

"So sit tight. This-"

Dean switched off the radio. "Holed up at Sucrocorp, huh?"

The four of them looked at each other.

They eventually reached a crypt.

Dean frowned. "Well, I guess if we can't find a righteous bone in a friggin' nunnery crypt."

"All right," Sam said. "Here -- listen to this. Sister Mary Benedict, uh, taught the learning-impaired and died at age 23."

"Eh, it's a little young. Find someone who's had time to corrupt."

Sam read from a large book. "Okay, well, there was, uh... here -- Sister Mary Eunice. Uh, fed the poor, became Mother Superior at age 60."

Natalia frowned. "Sounds political. Everyone knows power corrupts."

"Right. Um... listen to this -- Sister Mary Constant, 83 years of quiet, humble nun-like goodness. What do you two think?"

Natalia nodded as Dean said, "Wow. I want to be more righteous just reading this."

"You and me both, dude," Dylan said.

"Exactly," Sam and Natalia agreed.

Dean thought for a moment. "All right, well, I lay odds on her. Here we go." He walked towards a plaque bearing the name of Sister Mary Constant. "Well... let's bone this nun." Sam and Dylan made a face and Natalia smirked lightly. "Sorry. At least Nat appreciates my jokes."

Dean smashed the coffin with a mallet.

At Rufus's cabin, Dean tossed a lit match into a bowl. Flames rose and died down. Dean, Sam, Natalia and Dylan looked around.

Natalia raised a brow. "Is he trying to make a grand entrance or..."

Sam shook his head. "I don't know."