Repeat After Me

Chapter 7

I couldn't sleep that night. My thoughts were seated firmly in a Formula One car racing around a track, revved up, overtaking others, going round and round, changing gears, slipping around corners too fast, seat belt off. I lay in bed willing sleep but it didn't come, it stayed away from me like it knew there was something to be afraid of.

I got up and went to the toilet, again. Plumped up my pillows. Turned out the lights, lay down. But again, those thoughts and feelings were too much for me. I sat up, turned on the light and grabbed my sketchbook. Even drawing wouldn't tranquillise my overactive thoughts. I couldn't pacify myself like I usually could. Something profound had happened and I couldn't quite articulate what it was.

I liked Asten in the most pure way. There was something so sweet and gentle about him that night. For the first time, I felt comfortable with him. Still, I could feel his head on my shoulder and recall the mannish scent of his cap. I heard his words as though they were my own thoughts. He was the only person in this world who knew about my painting thing and he actually liked me for it

I like him. I really, really like him. Could it be ... I wouldn't even allow myself to think it ...