rockstar || jaden hossler

28

~TRIGGER WARNING~

I woke up to Bryce shaking me, "Ellie!"

I slowly opened my eyes looking up at him, "W-what happened?" I rubbed my head as I could feel it  pounding.

Bryce helped me up, and I stumbled backwards but he was quick to catch me. He helped me over to my bed, "I have no fucking clue, all I know was I came into your room to tell you we were back and you were laying on the floor unconscious."

Then everything started coming back to me. I didn't know if I should tell Bryce about what went down with Quinton or not. I decided against, for now at least.

Bryce stood by the bed, "Are you ok? Do you need anything? Do you need to go to the doctor? God I should have never left you here alone. I'm the worst  brother ever," he was rambling and running his fingers through his hair. He started cursing under his breath.

I reached out and took his hand, "Bryce, calm down. Everything is fine. I am going to be okay, I promise. You did nothing wrong at all, so do not blame yourself for any of this. You are not a terrible brother, in fact you are the best brother anyone could ever even ask for."

He smiled and kissed the top of my head, "Thanks El, I love you loser. Now get some rest."

I nodded yawning, "I love you too dummy."

He walked out of my room, and I felt myself drift off to sleep. I woke up in the middle of the night from nightmares. Everything just kept replaying, I was crying and shaking. It felt so real. I thought all the abuse from guys would be over when I moved out here to LA, but turns out I was wrong.

I got up and decided to do a live to just let everyone know I would be taking a break from social media, and as I was live, there were thousands and thousands of hate comments. I couldn't take it anymore.

After I ended the live I got up and went into the bathroom. I was sobbing and shaking uncontrollably.

I dug through the draws until I found some razor blades. I shakily took one and held it to my wrist, and slowly ran it across my wrist, feeling the blood drip out.

I had been clean for so long, but all of this that had been happening lately pushed me over the edge. I just couldn't take it anymore. Maybe everyone was right, maybe everyone would just be better off if I was dead.

I ran the blade across my wrist a second time, wincing from the pain, but it did feel good in some twisted way.

All of a sudden I heard banging on the door. I had no idea who it was, as it was literally like 3 am.

"Ellie! Open the door!"

I would recognize that voice anywhere, it was Jaden. He couldn't see me like this. I then remembered that Jaden had been on that live I was doing, so he clearly saw all the hate comments.

He continued banging on the door, and frantically yelling, "Ellie! Please just open the damn door." I heard his voice cracking, and I could tell he was on the verge of crying.

I cried, sliding the blade across my wrist again, watching as the blood dripped. I couldn't even get any words out, I was crying so much. When I tried to speak, nothing would come out.

I heard Jaden break down, "Ellie, please I can't lose you. I need you. I don't know what I would ever do without you. I am the biggest idiot for ever even putting myself in the position to lose you. You are the one I want, and all I will ever need. Please don't do anything because I can't live without you. We all need you here with us. You're my best friend. I can't believe I ever even hurt you and I will live the rest of my life regretting ever hurting you. I just need you to know that what everyone is saying online is not true. Do not believe them. They are so fucking wrong about you." He was crying, and I could hear his unsteady breathing on the other side of the door.

I started to feel light headed, and the last thing I remember was falling to the ground, and someone bursting in and screaming for help.

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authors note

this is the first time I have ever really written about abuse, and self harm, so i'm sorry if it isn't very good or very practical. I hope you guys like this chapter. still feel free to leave any suggestions or ideas in the comments!! i love you all❤️