One More Step

Chapter One - Dear No One

Hey guys! This is for the 2020 Talent Awards contest, and I know I suck at writing, but I wanted to challenge myself so I can hopefully improve! I hope you enjoy this!

Not pre-read/edited, sorry!

Quinn's POV:

(Current day)

Dear No One,

I've been thinking back a lot recently on the past few years. To be quite honest, it's hard to remember what's happened throughout my life. I'm forgetting almost everything. Maybe that's why I've been thinking about the past so much - so I'll remember it for a little while longer.

It's hard, knowing that things have happened but not knowing what. I can remember things like 'I went shopping yesterday', but when it comes to the specifics, it's pretty much gone. 

Sometimes it comes back to me, other times it doesn't. I'm used to it now though, and yeah, it still kinda sucks, but I've grown accustomed to it over time. Now that I think about it, there are multiple things that have somehow slipped their way into being a normal part of life.

For instance, my depression and anxiety.

Bipolar Depression Disorder, or so they called it. They probably added the word 'depression' in there just to make me feel more "normal". Bipolar. Great. That's something to put on my resume.

I have a feeling they got it wrong though. I mean, I was diagnosed when I was twelve and I had a terrible doctor, so that could be a factor. But hey, what do I know; I mean, I'm just a child, after all. Absolutely nothing  I say could ever actually have the possibility of being right.

Sorry, I just hate it when I'm told "Well you're still young, so you don't know anything." or, "When you're older you'll understand". Yeah, I'm young, I get it. But just because I happen to be born later than you, it doesn't mean that I don't know anything. I know that you gain knowledge from experience, but I also know children who grew up too fast because they had to. Experience doesn't come with age. Experience comes with experience. Doesn't matter how old or young you are, experience is experience, no matter who it decides to slap in the face.

I'm often told I can't do things because I'm young. That's actually why I'm thinking on the past right now. I remember that when someone told me that, I only politely - and somewhat awkwardly - laughed out loud, but in my head I said something completely different. Yeah right. I may be young, but oh, I can do things you would do more than pale at. I was even younger back then too. 

Well, I suppose it's normal for adults to think so highly of themselves. After all, they do mostly have jobs and a life, so it's understandable in a way. But still, it doesn't mean they have to look down on others just because they can't support themselves. It's not fair to anyone.

When I was at the ripe age of eleven, I found out that even though we were all made equally, quite a few people don't see it that way and take it to their advantage.

Adults think we're stupid cause we're young; older siblings think they have all the power in the world; parents think they can get away with anything because it's "for your own good". 

Bullshit. All of it.

I, sadly, had to learn that the hard way. That no matter how it should be, people are going to use every excuse in the book just to get their way. For instance, men are automatically above women and they can use them any which way they want because they're the ones to be used for pleasure and glory. Women have the children; they're the ones who raise the children; they cook, clean, and get groceries because that's their purpose. To serve the men of this world.

I hate it. 

I hate it when I'm expected to marry well and have beautiful children just because I have a vagina and shed a layer of my uterus every month. It never even crosses their minds that, yes, I can lead a successful life of my own, without a husband to tie me down.

I can't wait until I can leave. Whether that be sooner or later, I just want to escape. Life or death, just get me out of here. Out of this misery that is my life. Don't get me wrong, I love my home and family, it's just that they don't love me. Or at least, they wouldn't if they knew who I am and what I've done.

But that's not the point, now is it. I need to become normal before I graduate, or somehow die before then. That would be nice. Dying. Although, it might make some people sad, but they'll get over it in no time. They do with everything else, so why should I be any different?

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I need a break, I tell myself. I decide that a nice bowl of pudding might help.  I set down my pen and stretch, popping my back in the process. Clad in my cozy black hoodie, I lazily meander to the kitchen to find some food.

Once I retrieved the chocolate pudding, topped with Oreos of course, I head on back to my room to snuggle with 'Kaashi, my big, squishy, owl plushie. He's always so soft and comforting, so just having him there makes a small smile dawn my face.

As I'm laying with my owl, I start to doze off while thinking about what could have gone differently if I had maybe just—

Zzzzzzzzzz

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Hey guys! Sorry this is so short, but I needed to get something out! I hope you enjoyed, and be on the lookout for another chapter! I realize now that I should have named this "Dear No One", but I guess it's too late now! Love you!

~Angel