Lock and Key

Chapter 3

I don't know what the day is, or what time it is. I don't ever leave this room. Not because I'm locked in. Because I feel safer here then I did in my own home. It was quiet and peaceful. Things I haven't been able to enjoy for a very long time. Things I've forgotten the feeling of. The boy makes everything better. He stays with me every day, never bothering to worry about distance anymore. He will just sit close to me. We sit there for hours, looking at different things. He lets me play with his hands every once and a while. Though I don't think he understands why, but neither do I.

I haven't learned his name yet. I've been trying to muster the courage to talk to him but all that comes out are puffs of air. I am scared to talk to him, afraid that I might say something he wouldn't like, or that he wouldn't like how it sounds. I want to do it today. I have to. It's been a while since I have been here. I don't know how long exactly, but I have been counting the suns that rise every morning since my panic attack. And since then, it has been about five days.

He stays up with me every night, laying next to me in my bed, intertwining our hands, mine smaller compared to his. I have seen in my peripheral vision that he stares at me a lot. Confused. Puzzled. As to where I cam from. I know he wants to ask but I'm not there yet. I don't think I ever will be.

He brings me food every once in a while. But I still won't eat it. I cannot risk getting sedated and someone coming in and taking me away from this safe space. I don't want to leave, but yet I have to. He cares for me, bringing me new clothes from the closet, finding the smallest size possible. It's really sweet that he's doing all of this for me but I have no idea who he is. And until I figure out who he is, I can't tell him anything about me.

His mother will sometimes come in to check on us. Other than that first day I woke up, she has been trying her hardest to be nice, and I appreciate her trying. But I'm just there with her yet. I still get a little frightened when she comes into the room.

I twist around in the bed to face the window. My only source into the outside world. But I won't look through it. I don't want to risk him seeing me and bringing me back there. I never want to go back there again.

I hear the door opening into the room to see him with a bowl of cereal for me. He closes the door with his foot and sits across from me, handing me the bowl of Golden Smacks. He smiles at me as I eye the bowl with such desire that I start to drool. My stomach grumbled loudly and he laughs at me. He tries to give me the food, but I refuse to take it. I'm too scared. He heaves a sigh and takes a spoonful of it and brings the spoon to his mouth. I give him a look of disgust, scrunching up my nose.

"You look cute when you do that." He says bluntly. My cheeks turn red and study my cereal, completely embarrassed. He takes his hand and lifts up my chin to look into his eyes.

"Don't be embarrassed sunshine. It's a compliment, nothing to it." He lets go of my chin but I stay there. This is my chance. I need to do this now or I will never have enough courage to do it anytime soon. I open my mouth to let the words out, but nothing comes. He stares at me confused, but clicks it together that I want to tell him something. He keeps his eyes on me, letting me take my time. I take a deep breath, why is this so hard? I shake the thoughts out of my head, here goes nothing.

"What's your name?" I say, looking away from his gaze, as if I am ashamed to ask him such a stupid question. I don't hear him say anything. Did I end up not saying anything and it was only in my head? Did he not hear me? Or am I just being paranoid? I look up to seem him laughing. But not at me, he's laughing at something else, I hope.

"Is that what you've been wanting to ask me this entire time?" He raises an eyebrow, a smirk creeping up on his upper lip.

"What do you mean this entire time?" I as him. Was it that noticeable that I wanted to say something to him? He shakes his head in a joking sort of way.