Lock and Key

Chapter 7

I woke up in a panic. Breathing heavily, sharply. I was on the floor. When did I get on the floor? Hands were around me, yet they weren't my own. These ones I had memorized over and over again until I knew them by heart. They were tight and gentle. Soft and hard. Stiff and loose. Anything and everything. I can only see darkness. But I was awake, I didn't understand why I couldn't see color. The landscape that loved me.

All of my other senses were working. Smell, lavender and honey. Taste, dryness. Touch, rough carpet. Hear, soft breathing. Sight, nothing.

"I can't see," I said. A small chuckle came from my right. I stiffen. I can't tell who it is based on that alone. Though I do have a hunch. Because who else would be here for me?

"Open your eyes sunshine," Ryder said. I could practically hear the smile on his face. I must look stupid to him right now. How dumb would I need to be to not know that my eyes were closed?

"Oh," I whisper, I crack open my eyes to see Ryder staring at me, with his big, white, toothy smile. I look away, ashamed that he had to see that.

"Oh, don't be like that sunshine. I was only teasing," He whispered softly. He is still staring at me. I can feel it. I keep my gaze on the floor, still very embarrassed that I couldn't tell the difference between blindness and closed lids.

"What happened?" I asked. The last thing I remember is that I was back there, with him. And I know that it was real. It had to be. But how did I get back there? How did he find me so fast? It has never happened so fast. Not ever. Just thinking about it gets my heart racing.

I have to remember.

Count.

1

2

3 deep breathes. I'm not alone anymore. I'm not alone anymore.

"Hey, are you ok?" Ryder asks me softly. He puts a hand on my arm, rubbing it tenderly. I instantly calm down, releasing a lot of tension. I shake my head, putting my face in my hands.

"No, I'm not ok. How in the world would I be ok? How could you let me go back there? You promised me you would help. But I was sent back there like nothing ever happened. Why would you do that to me?" Tears are falling now. But I don't think he can see them. Though the sobbing might've given it away. He looked utterly confused, concerned. That one look made me doubt everything I ever thought. Did I say something wrong? Did I do something wrong?

"What are you talking about? You didn't go anywhere," Ryder reassured me.

"But, I was there. I felt it, I c-could see it. I-" I stammered on but Ryder took hold of my hands and brought them down to uncover my tear-filled face. One hand wiped the tears away, then coming back down to hold my hands still.

"You were with me, the entire time. You didn't go anywhere. It was just a nightmare. I promise you that. I would never leave you like that. I made a promise and I intend to keep it, ok?" He explained everything. It made sense, yet, it didn't. I don't know if I want this to be real or not. I don't know if this is what I deserve. Am I allowed to be selfish? To think about myself and my needs for a little while? I don't want to hurt anyone, yet I think I deserve to take care of myself and my well being.

I don't even want to think about him anymore. I want to work on myself right now and be the strongest person that I can be. So I can be my own person, so I can stand up for myself against anyone.

I am not owned by anyone. I never will be. I need to start acting like it.

I place Ryder's arms by his side and struggle to get off the ground, by myself. He extends his arms but I shake my head. Silently saying that I can do this myself. And I did. I stood up for the second time by myself. If I can do that on my own, I can surely do more.