The Bodyguard 5sos

Chapter Eight

'Six acres of prime beachside land, goodness knows what it's worth? Elvis would turn in his grave if I were to try and put a price on it.' Walter taps a screen in front of him showing a pure white sandy cove lapped by emerald waters. 'Looks like Bermuda doesn't it? Private beach but he hardly uses it. He hangs around by the pool mostly -with his groupies, you've already met a few of those.' 

'Go on.' I lean back against the table in the small security office in the back of the pool house and tilt my head back to catch the cold air rushing down from the ceiling. 

'Full power I'm afraid, you'll get used to it.' He counts off each camera screen on his fingers as he goes. 'Security gatehouse, there's Rod. Guesthouse, recording studio in the woods close to the beach, servant's quarters. Rod, Abe, Maria, Loren live there. Heman's in the main house with you. I'll introduce you to them later. I stay over on occasion. I tend to go home in the evenings, I can't take the noise at my age. That's where you come in.' 

'Heman?' I inquire. 

'You'll see. He's asleep at the moment, out late night partying with Michael last night.' Walter taps the screens again to get my attention and continues his televisual tour. 'Main house, drive, garages and the three paths leading up from the beach. OK?' 

'Oooo, Kkkkk,' I intone in my best sing-a-long voice.  

'Good, hold on.' Walter disappears, I hear a door slam and a loo flush. He re-appears rubbing his wet hands down the front of his shirt. 'Weak bladder, a hazard at my age.' 

'Is that part of the security brief? Do I need to take notes?' 

'Do what you want,' he drops into his swingy chair and stirs his coffee.' Now parties. Generally if it's under ten people you should be able to cope- any problems give Rod a call, he's pretty handy with a police stick should anyone get silly. Leave the strong arm stuff to him, it's not good to see Michael's friends, as he likes to call them, being laid out by a girl. I've no doubt you're up to it but Rod is kinda good at the physical stuff anyway, he has a way with wayward people. If it gets really dire, get Heman over before you punch anyone.' 

'Shopping,' he takes a slug of his drink, pulls a face and spits it back in his cup. 'The S word - now I've got your attention, I see. Shopping or eating out, it'll be just you and Michael. Abe will drive you wherever you want and wait in the car. Michael and his record company want the relaxed superstar look- 'shopping with his sexy looking bodyguard.' The press just lap it up. If it's for something more complex I'll get Heman to come along. Anything bigger we get the record companies security people in. I do the planning you just do what I tell you to do.' 

I catch sight of two naked female bodies rushing down a path on one of the cameras followed by a naked man in a kangaroo emblazoned hat, bouncing along after them in an oversized pair of trainers. A line of red lights flicker across the panel and a whole load of alarm buzzers go off. Walter sighs and clicks them off and swings round in his office stool to face me in his chair. 'I wish he wouldn't take my tennis shoes. Oh yeah, and we've got infrared beams along the paths to the beach. Generally there's not too much to it really. At least you won't' get shot at, like in the FBI.'  

'Walter I'm quite capable...' Something brown and blurry appears in front of a camera and wiggles to and fro, like a shammy leather being rubbed over the lens. My eyes follow it hypnotically as it moves to and fro and slowly recedes until the auto focus kicks in and reveals a pair of wiggling buttocks. 

Walter studies my expression for a moment, then, without looking behind him, reaches back and switches off the camera. 'I wish he wouldn't keep doing that either. I'll have to go down there after and clean the sun lotion off the lens. Your biggest job, Alexis is keeping the big, little kid out there, under control. He has a low attention threshold when he's not on tour- you can't plan for what he's likely to do, so stay on your toes.'