words i didn't say / nalu

three

-- natsu dragneel --

how dense can i really be?

i didn't realise it at the time, maybe because i was so distracted on trying to focus in math, but i think i've got a date in around about an hour.

and, of all people, it's with the new girl. sure, she's cute and and all, but we only just met. i know barely anything about her - how the hell am i gonna go an hour or two without making everything awkward?

i contemplate letting lucy down easy, or maybe making up some stupid excuse. but then i realise that we're at a boarding school, so i can't make the excuse that igneel won't let me out.

it makes my heart ache, because i want to hang out with her. she seems like she'd be a really good friend and definitely a positive influence in my life. she just has that nice, everybody-likes-her kind of vibe.

i've been trying to convince myself that the reason for wanting to cancel our little date is because i don't want lucy to get the wrong impression and end up falling for me, however in the back of my mind i know it's the opposite way around.

i don't want to fall for her. as confident as i seemed today, deep down i felt my heart throbbing just looking at her. it was a weird feeling, but i kind of had an idea of what it really was.

i got that feeling around lisanna when we used to date. it almost made me want to punch a wall just thinking about it, and not in an angry manner.

sighing, i slam my fist on the desk in my room, and lay my head on top of the various sheets that cover the tabletop surface. i don't even notice lisanna come into my room - the door was open since all my roommates were out in their clubs or around other people's dorms.

"you look stressed," she states the obvious, raising her eyebrow as she leans against the desk. "why is that?"

lisanna is really the last person i want helping me with this sort of situation. it's not like she gives bad advice, in fact in any other scenario she's the first person i'd go to. 

but this was a bit different.

"nothing." i answer nonchalantly, raising my head off the desk. "it's... yeah. nothing."

"pfft, nothing my ass. tell meee."

i groan. "even if i don't tell you, you're gonna bug me until i do, aren't you?"

she nodded, grinning softly. lisanna has always kind of had trust issues with me not telling her things. 

it is my weakness after all.

"i, uh... might have a date. i dunno, it seems that way."

"then what the hell are you doing sulking? get ready, for god sake, you've gotta impress the girl!"

i raise an eyebrow. "huh?"

"you can't turn up looking all scruffy in your school uniform like you are now. come here."

she walks over to the wardrobe and i follow behind her. i open the doors and look at all the hung up clothes.

"now what type of date is this? are you going to see a movie? or is it a romantic dinner at some fancy place? you need a job, you can't afford that."

"lisanna, i'm fine money-wise. and it's just a sort of a hang-out kind of thing."

"hang out? do people on dates ever just 'hang out'?"

"well to be honest, she never explicitly told me it was a date. i just kind of assumed. i don't want to make the wrong impression, because she genuinely seems like a nice person."