My War Is Over (Original Unfinished Version)

Chapter Ten

His sense of time has been warped ever since The Fall.

After Stark had poured out his stained past at Loki's bedside the pair had sat in silence until the pressing weight of emotions became overwhelming and Loki quietly asked Tony to leave. His request, which was for sure selfish and had no doubt reawoken the flames of hatred that the genius had previously harbored for him, didn't result in pain or verbal abuse and Loki felt some of the tension in his shoulders release along with the swish of the door shutting and the soft click of the lock seconds after it. The lighting of the large white room dimmed as the door closed which caused a soft sigh to escape his chapped and split lips. Despite the cup of water he had drunk earlier that hadn't yet poisoned him Loki still felt parched and his gaze zeroed in on the fresh glass sitting on a small table next to the bed he lay on. He reaches a trembling hand for the glass and with difficulty manages to drag it to his lips with two hands, drowning it in mere seconds. It was as he retracts his arm that he notices the lack of his usual layers and froze at the sight of his paper-white arms.

The scars.

It had been so long since he'd actually observed himself that Loki had almost forgotten they were there. Of course, now that his eyes take in the raised white lines on the insides of his wrists and the shimmery pink lightning-shaped marks that wrap around them the memories came rushing back. Nights of tears and bloody daggers and being pinned against the wall at his wrists by an angry Thor dance before his eyes, and he wants to slap himself because Stark had mentioned the scars, pointed at them, touched them, seen them, and Loki had answered, but his mind hadn't actually registered them until he sees them now.

Loki suddenly feels sick, thrusting his arms with newfound strength underneath the white blankets and curling up on his side despite the pull it gave to stitched wounds and still-healing broken bones. His eyes find the stars outside his window and he loses himself inside them until sleep claims him once more; no-doubt aided still by drugs, and filled with the longing for a cool blade against skin.

Loki seems to blink and a week was over.

Time passes in a hazy blur. He remains curled up on his side for most of the said time, staring out his window and wondering why he wasn't yet dead. The other form of the green monster that had bested him came to check on him quite frequently; a kindness shining in his eyes that Loki hates because he knew he doesn't deserve that. If anything, he deserves to be thrown back to The Mad Titan, given to the Chatauri, and tortured for his crimes until his mind mercifully killed itself, but the thought of such things makes the machine monitoring his heartrate shriek.

The other side of Hulk, who Loki learns was called Bruce Banner, changes his bandages and monitors his healing. He often uses strange devices that make odd noises, but his facial expressions seem to suggest that Loki is improving. He's attempted conversation a few times, but Loki can't recall what he'd said. He has hushed conversations with Stark that always seem to leave them both frowning. 

Stark visits him often, talking his ears off about science or what he's doing in his lab, or sometimes just sitting there with a cup of brown, strong-smelling liquid, other times just fiddling with what he calls his Starkpad balanced precariously on his lap. While he'll never admit it, Loki enjoys his company. He keeps his promise not to leave Loki alone, the only one who ever has, and never presses him for information. He seems perfectly content to listen to the sound of his own voice for hours as he talks about a multitude of lighter subjects that puts Loki's racing mind at ease. He's never mentioned the battle, Asgard, Thor, or even asked what about what happened and Loki doesn't offer any information. He figures eventually the truth will make itself known, and Tony will despise him, wish him dead and he'll be alone all over again. However foolish it is to let himself become attached, Loki has no intention of rushing their eventual parting of ways.

While Loki is aware of the other avengers present in the tower, they do not show themselves save for Captain America, who introduced himself as Steve Rodgers, wished Loki a swift recovery, and spoke in hushed tones with Stark.

Thor never shows up.

Loki isn't sure how he feels about that.